When you whisper about something, it's too big, and you can't get it under control and take control of it.
What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me.
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously.
I have no line. If I think it's funny, it's funny.
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.
I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up.
Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you.
Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore.
I will work as hard as I do because I love it.
When I am on E! for the 'Fashion Police,' I only care about being a critic. It loses me many friends.
I'm a New York girl. I come out of New York theater.
Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it look like he just thought of it.
You hear things about certain people. When you hear someone was mean to a limo driver or a wardrobe lady, or someone was rotten to a fan, somewhere in your brain it gets stuck.
Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.
Trust me, there's not one night a week I'm not in a theater somewhere. I adore theater, and I go out with friends, so I do have some nights off.
Prince Charles is so funny. So, so funny.
I just get such a connection from an audience. You play with them. I get mad at them. I yell at them. They yell at me. It's just fun.
I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.
My audiences get younger all the time.
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It has taken off. We are the number one show in England on E! Who knew?
Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job.
I am a huge 'Downton Abbey' fan - huge!
I love Katy Perry! She's very charming.
I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
You can find my book at your favorite bookstore, and if it isn't there, find a new favorite.
Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.
I am furious about everything.
What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.
