Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of quotes and thoughts by George Burns on cigar, one-liner, marriage, happiness, success, failure, women, love, future, life, beginning and smoke.

29 Thought-Provoking Quotes By George Burns

Quick Facts

Born On: January 20, 1896

Died On: March 9, 1996

Born In: New York City

Died At Age: 100

George Burns was a distinguished American singer, actor, comedian and writer. He was a renowned vaudevillian whose career spanned across various mediums including television, film and radio. Over three quarters of century, his cigar-smoke punctuation became a rage. He featured on radio, films and television along with his wife and they were called ‘Burns And Allen’. In 1975, a sudden career revival took place for him when he appeared as an active comedy elder statesman in ‘The Sunshine Boys’ at the age of 79. He bagged in an ‘Academy Award’ for the same. We have collected a corpus of thoughts, opinions and viewpoints that the celebrated artist has shared through his performances, gigs, writings, movies, stage shows, work and life. Presenting some famous quotable quotes and sayings by George Burns on funny, honesty, past, driving, fake, stress, believe, sex, lose, die, flowers, retirement, ridiculous and more.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

George Burns

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns

Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.

George Burns

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

George Burns

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

George Burns

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

George Burns

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

George Burns

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

George Burns

Young. Old. Just Words.

George Burns

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

George Burns

Say Goodnight Gracie.

George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

George Burns

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

George Burns

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

George Burns

I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.

George Burns

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.

George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty." -George Burns

George Burns

The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made.

George Burns