
If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!

It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else.

Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own; it's the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it.

We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them.

Life is nothing if you're not obsessed.

Collect books, even if you don't plan on reading them right away. Nothing is more important than an unread library.

You have to remember that it is impossible to commit a crime while reading a book.

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

Sometimes I wish I was a woman, just so I could have an abortion.

I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.

Nothing is more impotent than an unread library.

If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em! Don’t sleep with people who don’t read!

Contemporary art hates you.

I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.

I respect everything I make fun of.

The only insult I've ever received in my adult life was when someone asked me, "Do you have a hobby?" A HOBBY?! DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DABBLER?!

My idea of an interesting person is someone who is quite proud of their seemingly abnormal life and turns their disadvantage into a career.

To me, beauty is looks you can never forget. A face should jolt, not soothe.

Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they're taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it's normal to kneel down to a naked man who's nailed to a cross? It's like a bad leather bar.

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior -- BEFORE the Reformation.

Not wanting anyone to pop my bubble by speaking to me, I immediately began reading Lesbian Nuns, and that did the trick. No one attempted small talk.

Without Obsession, Life Is Nothing

There is right and there is wrong, I have NEVER been wrong.

I`d love to sell out completely. It`s just that nobody has been willing to buy.

Do we secretly idolize our imagined opposites, yearning to become the role models for others we know we could never be for ourselves?

But feeling down can make you feel up if you’re the creative type. The emotional damage may have already been done to you, but stop whining. Use your insanity to get ahead.

Aren't maids the ultimate art critics?

I love to read about anger. A "feel bad" book always makes me feel good. And no other novel in the history of literature is more depressing than Christina Stead's The Man Who Loved Children.

I mean, what is prison, really, except a good bar without the liquor?

I’m so lucky to be having a happy childhood as an adult.

It wasn't until I started reading ... that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else.

Wealth is walking into any bookshop and buying any book you want without looking at the price tag.

Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents - that is the key to fashion leadership.

I'd rather have a daughter in a whorehouse than a son in the police force,' Esther used to rage to anyone who would listen.

My idea of rich is that you can buy every book you ever want without looking at the price and you're never around assholes. That's the two things to really fight for in life.

If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't fuck them.

Just because something 'happens', because it is 'true', because the 'facts' are correct, does not ensure that it is the truth.

I'm perpetual tourist, and that's the best way to travel. Nobody gets used to you, you make new friends without having to hear anyone's everyday problems, and you jet back still feeling like a know-it-all.

But my abortion politics are simple. If you can’t love your child, don’t have it, because it will grow up and kill me.

I never rewatch the great films of my favorite directors because I'm afraid they won't hold up.

There’s a prison there, too, which always makes me feel included.

With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet!

Nothing is more important than an unread library.

Why is Mommy crying?” the young boy asks his dad, all sugared up and bewildered with concern. “Because you’re an asshole,” barks back the father with exasperated logic.

I sneak a look over and consider a blow job, but even I know giving head in the middle of a demolition derby is risky,

Keep up with what's causing chaos in your own field.

Nora Ephron’s great line that “overtipping only costs a few dollars more.

I believe that if a seven-year old kid has heard of Naked Lunch and is daring enough to want to read it, he’s old enough to read it.

Don’t worry about doing research. Just search.

Which she makes no move to clean up, I’m not sure what

I look out through the eyeholes and feel exactly the way Michael Jackson’s son Blanket must have felt

Once I climb in, will they believe it’s me even if they know who I am, or think I’m just a John Waters impersonator? Which I am in a way every day … only older.