Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of quotes and sayings by Finley Peter Dunne on humor, funny, stories, trust, world, better, worse, library, journalism, newspapers and media.

40 Mind-Blowing Quotes By Finley Peter Dunne That Are Rib-Tickling

Quick Facts

Famous As: Author, Screenwriter, Writer, Journalist

Born On: July 10, 1867

Died On: April 24, 1936

Born In: Chicago

Died At Age: 68

Finley Peter Dunne was a popular American writer and humorist renowned for his ‘Mr. Dooley’ sketches. After completing his studies he started covering sports and police courts for various newspapers which helped him get a job as a city editor for a local newspaper at a young age of 21. There he worked for a few years serving various positions and then he got a job with the ‘Evening Post’. During this period, he met Mary Ives Abbott, a prominent book reviewer who acknowledged his talent and became his mentor. She encouraged him to come up with his first sketch called ‘Post’. This gave birth to his most cherished character called ‘Mr. Martin Dooley’. This character was the protagonist of his sketches and aimed at criticizing current issues. It criticized various political and society norms and soon became popular among the masses. The popularity of his sketches could be measured by the fact that they were read every week in the cabinet meetings that took place at the White House. We have excerpted some famous quotations and thoughts by the celebrated humorist who grabbed the attention of his readers by his unceasing humor and eloquent commentary on current and social events. Presenting the compilation of popular quotes and thoughts by Finley Peter Dunne.

Trust everybody, but always cut the cards.

Finley Peter Dunne

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Finley Peter Dunne

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.

Finley Peter Dunne

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.

Finley Peter Dunne

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

Finley Peter Dunne

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Finley Peter Dunne

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Finley Peter Dunne

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Finley Peter Dunne

The Puritans gave thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and we give thanks for being preserved from the Puritans.

Finley Peter Dunne

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Finley Peter Dunne

There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

Finley Peter Dunne

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Finley Peter Dunne

There are no friends at cards or world politics.

Finley Peter Dunne

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

Finley Peter Dunne

A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.

Finley Peter Dunne

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

Finley Peter Dunne

Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.

Finley Peter Dunne

No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.

Finley Peter Dunne

When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.

Finley Peter Dunne

Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.

Finley Peter Dunne

Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

Finley Peter Dunne

A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.

Finley Peter Dunne

A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say.

Finley Peter Dunne

The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle - on the back of a dollar.

Finley Peter Dunne

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

Finley Peter Dunne

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.

Finley Peter Dunne

Even an Englishman was niver improved by bein' blown up.

Finley Peter Dunne

Th' dead ar-re always pop'lar. I knowed a society wanst to vote a monyment to a man an' refuse to help his fam'ly, all in wan night.

Finley Peter Dunne

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

Finley Peter Dunne

It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

Finley Peter Dunne

If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

Finley Peter Dunne

Continued focus on (employee) turnover is of critical importance, because of the direct relation of turnover to improvements in labor costs and guest satisfaction.

Finley Peter Dunne

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

Finley Peter Dunne

If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.

Finley Peter Dunne

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Finley Peter Dunne

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.

Finley Peter Dunne

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Finley Peter Dunne

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

Finley Peter Dunne

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

Finley Peter Dunne

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

Finley Peter Dunne