Top

A collection of quotes Denis Leary on humor, funny, writing, racism, love, hate, food, decision, rescue, chance, belief, life, grief, care, age, lost and selfless.

160 Great Quotes By Denis Leary With A Speck Of Humor

Quick Facts

Famous As
Actor

Born On

Born In
Worcester, Massachusetts, U.S

Denis Colin Leary is an American comedian, actor, singer, producer and writer. He has appeared in a string of movies and comedy television series over the course of his career. After teaching comedy writing at a school for around 5 years, Leary started off his career as a comedian at a ‘Boston Club’ and hit the mainstream success with the TV show ‘The Rascals Comedy Hour’. One of his most important creations is the show ‘Rescue Me’, where he also played the lead and the show ran for seven seasons. ‘Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll’ remains of his noted comedy TV shows. Leary has also starred in a range of films over the course of his career that has spanned around three decades and he has also been a popular author. Through his comedy, acting and writing, Leary has often expressed his views and thoughts on a range of subjects. Considering his skills as an orator, whatever he has said or written has become famous as his quotes and are quoted extensively. Here is a collection of some of his quotes, sayings and thoughts which have been curated from his writings, books, interviews, shows, work and life.

Racism isn’t born, folks. It’s taught. I have a 2-year-old son. Know what he hates? Naps. End of list.

- Denis Leary

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

- Denis Leary

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

- Denis Leary

Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate.

- Denis Leary

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

- Denis Leary

There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.

- Denis Leary

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

- Denis Leary

I really like 'Batman.' Not the TV show, but the dark 'Batman.'

- Denis Leary

One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own.

- Denis Leary

Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America.

- Denis Leary

I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.

- Denis Leary

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.

- Denis Leary

Good actors, especially when they know their character, will come in and either tell you in advance that they have an idea, or in the middle of the rehearsal or the scene they'll let it loose and you go, 'Ah that's great.'

- Denis Leary

I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.

- Denis Leary

Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.

- Denis Leary

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

- Denis Leary

Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh.

- Denis Leary

Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.

- Denis Leary

Having dealt with a lot of real firefighters, I know there are a lot of guys who, for lack of a better term, become addicted to the grief because it has kept them connected to these guys that they felt responsible for having lost.

- Denis Leary

I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.'

- Denis Leary

My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that.

- Denis Leary

I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.

- Denis Leary

I basically - I don't like tattoos, unless you're a firefighter who has a tattoo that has to do with that or a military guy. That's - those are people who should have tattoos.

- Denis Leary

I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.

- Denis Leary

Life Sucks,get a helmet

- Denis Leary

I wanted to be a hockey player. Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. I was terrible in school and actually said, 'I'm going to be a hockey player.'

- Denis Leary

It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that's not the case.

- Denis Leary

My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.

- Denis Leary

First of all, I have to have trucks because I live most of my time on a horse farm, so I've gotta have trucks. It's in the northeast; I've got to have pickup trucks to move snow, number one. Number two, just if I'm driving, I don't have to have an SUV, but I want a big car.

- Denis Leary

How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.

- Denis Leary

Sometimes 'great acting' is just showing off - chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors - the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush.

- Denis Leary

I eat meat because meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty dam good!

- Denis Leary

For us as writers, it's really important to have songs we believe in - even before sometimes we shoot a scene. If we have a song that's so perfectly designed for a scene on 'Rescue Me,' we'll play it on loud speakers during the shooting. It helps the cameraman and it helps the director, and it helps the actors know what the feel is.

- Denis Leary

My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is 'Ice Age.' That's fine with me because pretty soon they'll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be.

- Denis Leary

Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse.

- Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Denis Leary

Hockey's my favorite sport.

- Denis Leary

I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while.

- Denis Leary

Firefighters don't go on strike.

- Denis Leary

Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual

- Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Denis Leary

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

- Denis Leary

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

- Denis Leary

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

- Denis Leary

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.

- Denis Leary

Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer.

- Denis Leary

No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about.

- Denis Leary

The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.

- Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Denis Leary

The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them.

- Denis Leary

The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago.

- Denis Leary

Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.

- Denis Leary

I did 12 years with nuns, you know. So I came out of it going, like, 'I think Jesus is all right.' The rest of it I think stinks to the high heavens.

- Denis Leary

One of those things that I like about TV is that if you get a group of people you like, you can work with these people for months at a time, and you can discover their strengths and weaknesses, and you can use those in the direction where you take the characters.

- Denis Leary

The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart.

- Denis Leary

If you do good work, it tends to stick around. People still come up to me and say, 'The Ref' is my favorite Christmas movie.'

- Denis Leary

What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, 'I'm going to protect all these strangers.'

- Denis Leary

Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true.

- Denis Leary

I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.

- Denis Leary

I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television.

- Denis Leary

When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with 'No Cure For Cancer.'

- Denis Leary

Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.

- Denis Leary

Willem Dafoe and I are actually the same person.

- Denis Leary

Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.

- Denis Leary

I don't want to see a 'Sopranos' movie. This is just me. I like to think the end is where it was on TV as opposed to becoming a movie.

- Denis Leary

I have a lot of conservative views on a lot of things.

- Denis Leary

I love America.

- Denis Leary

I know gay - gay people who aren't married who are better parents than some, you know, straight people I know who are married.

- Denis Leary

I think all priests should be married.

- Denis Leary

I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.

- Denis Leary

I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God.

- Denis Leary

I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.

- Denis Leary

Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.

- Denis Leary

I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for the screen.

- Denis Leary

I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh.

- Denis Leary

I'm a huge Kevin Youkilis fan.

- Denis Leary

If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.

- Denis Leary

In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life.

- Denis Leary

There's no male Oprah.

- Denis Leary

I remember 9/11; we had 'Comics Come Home' about a month after those events. That night, even the comedians were concerned. Would the audience be ready to laugh? It was a release for everyone.

- Denis Leary

I really want to do a western film. It's one of my favorite movie genres of all time.

- Denis Leary

If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.

- Denis Leary

I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory.

- Denis Leary

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

- Denis Leary

The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film.

- Denis Leary

I think we're going to carry the 'Ice Age's up to 'Ice Age 15,' which means basically they'll be in the present decade.

- Denis Leary

Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do.

- Denis Leary

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

- Denis Leary

With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.

- Denis Leary

Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it.

- Denis Leary

I actually like talking.

- Denis Leary

You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing.

- Denis Leary

Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently.

- Denis Leary

I don't believe in the power of words.

- Denis Leary

I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one.

- Denis Leary

When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again.

- Denis Leary

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?

- Denis Leary

If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.

- Denis Leary

I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.

- Denis Leary

My brother and I tortured my mother growing up.

- Denis Leary

I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.

- Denis Leary

Wolfhounds helped kill off the wolves in Ireland.

- Denis Leary

What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.

- Denis Leary