Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of quotes and thoughts by A.P. Herbert on purpose, people, fun, together, noble, writing, misleading, poems, poetry and humor.

28 Mind-Blowing Quotes By A.P. Herbert

Quick Facts

Famous As: Humorist, Novelist, Playwright & Law Reform Activist

Born On: September 24, 1890

Died On: November 11, 1971

Born In: Ashtead, Surrey

Died At Age: 81

A.P. Herbert was a distinguished English novelist, humorist, law reform activist and playwright. His first book ‘The Secret Battle’ was released following the World War I. In 1924, he was called by the editor of the 'Punch', Owen Seaman, to join their staff, which Herbert cheerfully acknowledged. Herbert was elected as an independent MP for Oxford University in 1935, with the assistance of his companion Frank Pakenham. During his time at the Parliament, he drafted a few bills including the ‘Matrimonial Causes Bill’, ‘Public Refreshment Bill’ and ‘Bookmakers Bill’. During the same time he published his book ‘Uncommon Law’ which is considered as one of his best works till date. It was first distributed in the "Punch" under the title ‘Misleading Cases’. Read through the inspiring quotes and thoughts by A.P. Herbert which have been extracted from his writings, books, plays, speeches, work and life. Presenting famous quotations and sayings by A.P. Herbert that will give you a glimpse of his work and life.
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The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep

A.P. Herbert

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

A.P. Herbert

The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.

A.P. Herbert

Holy Mother we do believe, That without sin Thou didst conceive; May we now in Thee believing, Also sin without conceiving.

A.P. Herbert

If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.

A.P. Herbert

Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.

A.P. Herbert

Elderly gentlemen, gentle in all respects, kind to animals, beloved by children, and fond of music, are found in lonely corners of the downs, hacking at sandpits or tussocks of grass, and muttering in a blind, ungovernable fury elaborate maledictions which could not be extracted from them by robbery or murder. Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behavior not otherwise excusable.

A.P. Herbert

Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.

A.P. Herbert

For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.

A.P. Herbert

The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.

A.P. Herbert

An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.

A.P. Herbert

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

A.P. Herbert

Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.

A.P. Herbert

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

A.P. Herbert

Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.

A.P. Herbert

As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.

A.P. Herbert

Aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.

A.P. Herbert

Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.

A.P. Herbert

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

A.P. Herbert

A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.

A.P. Herbert

A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.

A.P. Herbert

My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be; An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue; Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not; to be alive, Is good enough for me.

A.P. Herbert

Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.

A.P. Herbert

There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.

A.P. Herbert

The rain is plentious but, by God's decree, Only a third is meant for you and me; Two-thirds are taken by the growing things Or vanish Heavenward on vapour's wings: Nor does it mathematically fall With social equity on one and all. The population's habit is to grow In every region where the water's low: Nature is blamed for failings that are Man's, And well-run rivers have to change their plans.

A.P. Herbert

A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle; while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.

A.P. Herbert

Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government!

A.P. Herbert

Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.

A.P. Herbert