A collection of quotes and sayings by Jeff Foxworthy on life, facts, mayonnaise, collar, comedy, blue, commitment, sign, totally, redneck, pictures, funny etc.
63 Great Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy That Might Make You Laugh Your Head Off
Jeff Foxworthy is an American actor, stand-up comedian, author, radio personality, actor and television personality. He is a part of comedy troupe ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour’ which also comprises of Ron White, Larry The Cable Guy and Bill Engvall. He is renowned for his one-liner ‘You might be a redneck’ and has had six-major comedy albums released till date. He is also a prolific writer and has expressed his views, thoughts and opinions through his writings which have primarily been based on redneck jokes. ‘No Shirt, No Shoes....No Problem!’ is an autobiography written by him. We bring to you a treasury of quotable quotes and sayings by the multi-faceted personality and one of the funniest comedians of this era. Presenting some hilarious, interesting, insightful and inspiring quotes and thoughts by Jeff Foxworthy on book, values, think, redneck, love, little, girls, education, truck, fishing, people, family, time, goal, stand, friends, love, life, smell, homeless, work, daughter, summer, phone, voice, quality, ugly, humor, grace and more.
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
Jeff Foxworthy
Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.
Jeff Foxworthy
I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.
Jeff Foxworthy
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'
Jeff Foxworthy
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.
I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
