Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of thoughts and quotes by Carol Burnett on humor, acting, plays, funny, comedy, inspiration, tragedy, regret and life.

106 Notable Quotes By Carol Burnett For A Perfect Day

Quick Facts

Famous As: Actress

Born On: April 26, 1933

Born In: San Antonio

Carol Burnett is an acclaimed American comedian and actress famous for her role in ‘The Carol Burnett Show’. She is the perfect example of ‘rags to riches’ story as she has gone through various hardships to become successful and famous. She was interested in being a playwright and she took acting classes which ignited her passion for acting and she pursued an acting career. She started performing with various theater groups during which a patron was fascinated by her performance and gave her a loan to go to New York in search of better opportunities. She made her debut on television with a small appearance in a popular children’s show. She further got a prominent role in the ‘Gary Moore Show’ where her performance was appreciated and was followed by various offers for television shows. Her fame and popularity as an entertainer helped her bag ‘The Carol Burnett Show’. This show turned out to be a big hit and ran successfully for 11 consecutive seasons making it the most notable work of Carol’s career. She has also appeared in various films. Her significant contributions to the entertainment have been honored with various renowned awards including multiple ‘Golden Globe Awards’. Her quotes and thoughts have been excerpted from her shows, films and life. Her thoughts and quotations tackle the most serious and sensitive topics in a subtle tone. Here are few notable quotes by Carol Burnett that will brighten up your day.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

Carol Burnett

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

Carol Burnett

Comedy = tragedy + time.

Carol Burnett

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

Carol Burnett

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.

Carol Burnett

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Carol Burnett

Because nobody goes though life without a scar.

Carol Burnett

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.

Carol Burnett

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

Carol Burnett

When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.

Carol Burnett

I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas.

Carol Burnett

I'm so happy with what has happened in my life.

Carol Burnett

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.

Carol Burnett

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Carol Burnett

We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted.

Carol Burnett

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

Carol Burnett

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.

Carol Burnett

I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.

Carol Burnett

I liked myself better when I wasn't me.

Carol Burnett

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.

Carol Burnett

Cavort, dear, just cavort

Carol Burnett

I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy.

Carol Burnett

When I was little I would always stand in front of a mirror and cross my eyes. Then my mother would come in and say, "Stop that, nothing will ever come of it!

Carol Burnett

I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical.

Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.

Carol Burnett

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

Carol Burnett

I eat very well, and I do Pilates.

Carol Burnett

I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper.

Carol Burnett

I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do.

Carol Burnett

I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts.

Carol Burnett

I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland.

Carol Burnett

It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony.

Carol Burnett

When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh.

Carol Burnett

I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it.

Carol Burnett

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.

Carol Burnett

When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen.

Carol Burnett

You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn.

Carol Burnett

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that.

Carol Burnett

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

Carol Burnett

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

Carol Burnett

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

Carol Burnett

I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that.

Carol Burnett

I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism.

Carol Burnett

I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me.

Carol Burnett

I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever.

Carol Burnett

My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story.

Carol Burnett

I love audiences.

Carol Burnett

Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique.

Carol Burnett

My first book was an open letter to my three daughters.

Carol Burnett

I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself.

Carol Burnett

Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.

Carol Burnett

I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw.

Carol Burnett

I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.

Carol Burnett

I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time.

Carol Burnett

I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry.

Carol Burnett

I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'

Carol Burnett

If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all.

Carol Burnett

Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant.

Carol Burnett

My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too.

Carol Burnett

I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' - my God, did I binge on that!

Carol Burnett

When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS.

Carol Burnett

I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax.

Carol Burnett

I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattress,' that kind of put me on the map.

Carol Burnett

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

Carol Burnett

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.

Carol Burnett

I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.

Carol Burnett

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

Carol Burnett

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.

Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

Carol Burnett

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.

Carol Burnett

I'm not a person who likes to confront.

Carol Burnett

It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run.

Carol Burnett

Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell.

Carol Burnett

My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.

Carol Burnett

I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.

Carol Burnett

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

Carol Burnett

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

Carol Burnett

I really enjoy connecting with the audience.

Carol Burnett

I have a great memory.

Carol Burnett

I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.

Carol Burnett

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

Carol Burnett

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

Carol Burnett

On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing.

Carol Burnett

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.

Carol Burnett

Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.

Carol Burnett

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

Carol Burnett

Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story.

Carol Burnett

My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?

Carol Burnett

I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.

Carol Burnett

I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy.

Carol Burnett

My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better.

Carol Burnett

I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.

Carol Burnett

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

Carol Burnett

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.

Carol Burnett

Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids.

Carol Burnett

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

Carol Burnett

I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice.

Carol Burnett

I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.

Carol Burnett

What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.

Carol Burnett

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

Carol Burnett

Comedy is tragedy - plus time.

Carol Burnett

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.

Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.

Carol Burnett

I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows.

Carol Burnett