Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of quotes and thoughts by Ogden Nash on humor, youth, books, marriage, pain, inspiration, fantasy and children.

61 Most Famous Ogden Nash Quotes

Quick Facts

Famous As: Poet

Born On: August 19, 1902

Died On: March 19, 1971

Born In: Baltimore, Maryland, United States

Died At Age: 68

Ogden Nash was a renowned American poet, acclaimed for his humor laced rhymes and poems. Nash made his name by keeping his love for rhyming alive. His alluring rhymes were loved by all and he was highly regarded in the literary world. Nash published his first collection of poems, ‘Hard Lines’ in 1931 and earned national recognition. Nash also made appearances on comedy and radio shows, and also served as a guest-lecturer at many prominent universities. As a writer, he is credited for being the lyricist of ‘One Touch of Venus’, a Broadway musical that was a great hit. Nash is praised for his poetic style, in which he added funky words and also misspelled words within the poem, in order to make it more humorous for the reader. Nash was a sports lover, and his poem, ‘Line-Up for Yesterday’, paid homage to his favorite baseball players. The specialty of this poem was the alphabetical order, the players’ names came in, and the way he depicted them. His thoughts and sayings became popular through his works & writings and are extensively quoted. Here is a collection of Ogden Nash sayings, thoughts and quotations.
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Tonight’s December thirty-first, Something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, Like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Ogden Nash

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Ogden Nash

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Ogden Nash

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

Ogden Nash

I have an idea that the phrase “weaker sex” was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Ogden Nash

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Ogden Nash

If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

Ogden Nash

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Ogden Nash

A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the puma had no sense of huma

Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Ogden Nash

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.

Ogden Nash

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Ogden Nash

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Ogden Nash

Progress is a fine thing, but it's gone on long enough.

Ogden Nash

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Ogden Nash

Either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you to the butcher tomorrow

Ogden Nash

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.

Ogden Nash

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Ogden Nash

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Ogden Nash

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.

Ogden Nash

Too clever is dumb.

Ogden Nash

Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.

Ogden Nash

There’s nothing that keeps it’s youth So far as I know, but a tree and the truth

Ogden Nash

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends.

Ogden Nash

Sure deck your lower limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance– Have you seen yourself retreating?

Ogden Nash

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

Ogden Nash

If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.

Ogden Nash

Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope!

Ogden Nash

You can have my jellyfish I am not sellyfish

Ogden Nash

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg? He drinks because she scolds, he thinks; She thinks she scolds because he drinks; And nether will admit what's true, That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

Ogden Nash

At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Ogden Nash

My fellow man I do not care for. I often ask me, What's he there for? The only answer i can find Is, Reproduction of his kind.

Ogden Nash

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

Ogden Nash

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Ogden Nash

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Ogden Nash

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up." ~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)

Ogden Nash

Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

Ogden Nash

The Bronx? No Thonx!

Ogden Nash

How easy for those who do not bulge To not overindulge!

Ogden Nash

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Ogden Nash

Hark to the sky of a seagull! He cries because he's not an eagle. Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull? What would you say to your she-gull?

Ogden Nash

Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

Ogden Nash

O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

Ogden Nash

In the world of mules There are no rules.

Ogden Nash

You can be young only once, but you can be immature forever.

Ogden Nash

It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.

Ogden Nash

Were it not for frustration and humiliation I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.

Ogden Nash

My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean

Ogden Nash