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61 Most Famous Ogden Nash Quotes

Famous As: Poet
Born On: August 19, 1902
Died On: March 19, 1971
Born In: Baltimore, Maryland, United States
Died At Age: 68
Ogden Nash was a renowned American poet, acclaimed for his humor laced rhymes and poems. Nash made his name by keeping his love for rhyming alive. His alluring rhymes were loved by all and he was highly regarded in the literary world. Nash published his first collection of poems, ‘Hard Lines’ in 1931 and earned national recognition. Nash also made appearances on comedy and radio shows, and also served as a guest-lecturer at many prominent universities. As a writer, he is credited for being the lyricist of ‘One Touch of Venus’, a Broadway musical that was a great hit. Nash is praised for his poetic style, in which he added funky words and also misspelled words within the poem, in order to make it more humorous for the reader. Nash was a sports lover, and his poem, ‘Line-Up for Yesterday’, paid homage to his favorite baseball players. The specialty of this poem was the alphabetical order, the players’ names came in, and the way he depicted them. His thoughts and sayings became popular through his works & writings and are extensively quoted. Here is a collection of Ogden Nash sayings, thoughts and quotations.
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Tonight’s December thirty-first,
Something is about to burst.
The clock is crouching, dark and small,
Like a time bomb in the hall.
Hark, it's midnight, children dear.
Duck! Here comes another year!

Tonight’s December thirty-first, Something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, Like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

Ogden Nash
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, 
And that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

Ogden Nash
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

Ogden Nash
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Ogden Nash
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Ogden Nash
Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

Ogden Nash
I have an idea that the phrase “weaker sex” was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

I have an idea that the phrase “weaker sex” was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Ogden Nash
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Ogden Nash
The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Ogden Nash
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

Ogden Nash
A jolly young fellow from Yuma
Told an elephant joke to a puma;
now his skeleton lies
beneath hot western skies-
the puma had no sense of huma

A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the puma had no sense of huma

Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Ogden Nash
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – 
Did you ever try buying them without money.

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.

Ogden Nash
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Ogden Nash
Progress is a fine thing, but it's gone on long enough.

Progress is a fine thing, but it's gone on long enough.

Ogden Nash
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Ogden Nash
The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.

Ogden Nash
Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Ogden Nash
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Ogden Nash
Either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you to the butcher tomorrow

Either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you to the butcher tomorrow

Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.

Ogden Nash
When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
~ Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash
I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

Ogden Nash
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Ogden Nash
Too clever is dumb.

Too clever is dumb.

Ogden Nash
Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.

Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.

Ogden Nash
If some confectioners were willing
To let the shape announce the filling,
We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs,
Bitten into and returned to the box.

If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.

Ogden Nash
Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?

He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;
She thinks she scolds because he drinks;
And nether will admit what's true,
That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg? He drinks because she scolds, he thinks; She thinks she scolds because he drinks; And nether will admit what's true, That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

Ogden Nash
Sure deck your lower limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance– Have you seen yourself retreating?

Sure deck your lower limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance– Have you seen yourself retreating?

Ogden Nash
There’s nothing that keeps it’s youth
So far as I know, but a tree and the truth

There’s nothing that keeps it’s youth So far as I know, but a tree and the truth

Ogden Nash
Man is a victim of dope
In the incurable form of hope!

Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope!

Ogden Nash
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

Ogden Nash
Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends.

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends.

Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Ogden Nash
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Ogden Nash
You can have my jellyfish
I am not sellyfish

You can have my jellyfish I am not sellyfish

Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up." ~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)

Ogden Nash
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Ogden Nash
He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.

Ogden Nash
At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station
And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Ogden Nash
My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What's he there for?
The only answer i can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.

My fellow man I do not care for. I often ask me, What's he there for? The only answer i can find Is, Reproduction of his kind.

Ogden Nash
Senescence begins 
And middle-age ends 
The day your descendants 
Outnumber your friends

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

Ogden Nash
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful,
And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Ogden Nash
O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy,
But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

Ogden Nash
In the world of mules
There are no rules.

In the world of mules There are no rules.

Ogden Nash
Professional men, they have no cares;
Whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

Ogden Nash
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Ogden Nash
How easy for those who do not bulge
To not overindulge!

How easy for those who do not bulge To not overindulge!

Ogden Nash
The Bronx? No Thonx!

The Bronx? No Thonx!

Ogden Nash
Hark to the sky of a seagull!
He cries because he's not an eagle.
Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull?
What would you say to your she-gull?

Hark to the sky of a seagull! He cries because he's not an eagle. Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull? What would you say to your she-gull?

Ogden Nash
It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.

It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.

Ogden Nash
Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

Ogden Nash
You can be young only once, but you can be immature forever.

You can be young only once, but you can be immature forever.

Ogden Nash
Were it not for frustration and humiliation
I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.

Were it not for frustration and humiliation I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.

Ogden Nash
My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean

My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean

Ogden Nash