I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree
I've always been very opinionated, for lack of a better term, about art. Not to sound too arrogant, but I guess I'm a connoisseur of telling people what I think is good and bad.
It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.
One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you're working, it's the best thing that's ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner.
I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after school. Isn't that great?
In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!
People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.
If you become famous and you start making money, then people want to give you things. It's the exact opposite of how it's supposed to be.
It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along.
My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.
Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.
I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.
Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you're playing.
It's pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year's.
Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.
I love performing, and it allows me to be very discerning about what I choose next, thank god.
You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.
Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.
I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.
Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.
I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.
Hours is an understatement. I honestly don't know how the director and editor decide each week what actually makes it on the air. There's of course director and cast commentary on each episode on the DVD. We had a blast recording that.
I wanted to play football and see how that went. In my mind, I knew I wasn't good enough to be a pro, but I was having a really fun time doing it. When you're on a college team, you can tell who's going to be a pro or not almost instantly.
Yes, believe me I am black and blue. Plus I just finished a Seth MacFarlane movie called Ted and I can't believe the cast I got to work with there [Mila Kunis, Mark Wahlberg]. I feel like I am winning some kind of contest to trick people into working with me.
Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant; he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.
