Jon Stewart is a popular American satirist, actor, comedian, producer, director, media critic and writer. The divorce of his parents made his childhood a little difficult. He used his comic timing to escape the bullying at Lawrence High School. He tried his luck as a stand-up comedian by working with small shows and eventually made it to ‘The Comedy Cellar’. By 1989, he rose to fame as the writer of ‘Caroline's Comedy Hour’. The ‘Jon Stewart Show’, with MTV was a great success and showcased his skills as a comedian. Stewart played romantic lead in films like,‘Playing by Heart’ and ‘Wishful Thinking’. He played an alien possessed professor in the horror flick, ‘The Faculty’, before returning to comedy with ‘Half Baked’ and ‘Big Daddy’. He returned to television, as a comedian cum host in late night talk shows, ‘The Daily Show’ being the most prominent. He has also contributed as a satirist, and hosted ‘The Grammy’ and ‘Academy Awards’, more than once. Over time, his satirical writings have become popular quotes and are frequently quoted by people. His writings, thoughts, sayings and quotations are very relevant and convey the message in a clear way. Presenting a collection of Jon Stewart sayings, thoughts and quotes on religion, death, inspiration, humor, politics, and democracy.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.
Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain
Jon Stewart
We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we just never thought of putting it to music.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out.
I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq.
We've been following time as it goes forward.
What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food? --7/14/09 interview with Peter Mancall, author of Fatal Journey
What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.
Often, no sooner would the mind begin to scale the heights of Mt. Knowledge than it would receive a frantic call from body base camp, demanding it return to oversee "Operation Masturbate.
Jon Stewart
Campaigns and elections are the process in which democracy separates the willing from the able, and goes with the willing.
Jon Stewart
Free time is death to the anxious, and thank goodness I don't have any of it right now.
[Stump speeches] are to oratory what a stump is to a tree.
Jon Stewart
Classroom Activities
1. Using felt and yarn, make a hand puppet of Clarence Thomas. Ta-da! You're Antonin Scalia!
Jon Stewart
In whose delusional mind is democracy made better by letting wealthier people control more of it?
Jon Stewart
Newspapers abound, and though they have endured decades of decline in readership and influence, they can still form impressive piles if no one takes them out to the trash.
Jon Stewart
[Politicans] are salespeople. Instead of rotisserie ovens they are selling this idea of preemptive war or social-security reforms.
....%#@&! )
 Imagine how freaking tiring it must be living through it. )
