He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
Insanity is contagious.
He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it
[They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.
Why are they going to disappear him?' I don't know.' It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.
Be glad you're even alive.' Be furious you're going to die.
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
What do you do when it rains?" The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.
He was never without misery, and never without hope.
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
Where were you born?" "On a battlefield," [Yossarian] answered. "No, no. In what state were you born?" "In a state of innocence.
-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot!
She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times.
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Men," he began his address to the officers, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.
I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.
When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
Who is Spain? Why is Hitler? Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity trust upon them.
Where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.
For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
Rise above principal and do what's right.
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
That crazy bastard may be the only sane one left.
He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
You wouldn’t be normal if you were never afraid. Even the bravest men experience fear. One of the biggest jobs we all face in combat is to overcome fear.
Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.
While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
Someone had to do something sometime. Every victim was a culprit, every culprit a victim, and somebody had to stand up sometime to try to break the lousy chain of inherited habit that was imperiling them all.
He was one of those people with lots of intelligence but no brains
But how can one be warm alone?
Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering.
It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody?
In a world in which success was the only virtue, he had resigned himself to failure.
They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
That's another thing that pisses me off about that Michelangelo statue of me in Florence. He's got me standing there uncircumcised! Who the fuck did he think I was?
It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.......
They’re not going to send a crazy man out to be killed, are they?” “Who else will go?
He made so many people uneasy. Everyone was always very friendly toward him, and no one was ever very nice; everyone spoke to him, and no one ever said anything.
¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
People have a right to do anything that's not forbidden by law, and there's no law against lying to you.
But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong.
Oh well," McWatt sang, "what the hell.
Maybe I am senile already and people are too kind to tell me. People are not kind and would tell me. (Maybe people have told me, and I'm too senile to remember).
I get the willies when I see closed doors.
It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.
The captain was a good chess player, and the games were always interesting. Yossarian had stopped playing chess with him because the games were so interesting they were foolish.
He could not make them understand that...having a good time bored him and was not worth the effort.
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
He was working hard at increasing his life span. He did it by cultivating boredom.
Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.