A collection of thoughts and quotes by Steve Martin on humor, obvious, wit, funny, words, sex, prostitution, comedy, encouragement, art, hate and acting.
100 Great Quotes By Steve Martin That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Steve Martin is a renowned American comedian, writer and actor. He joined the University of California to study theatre while performing as a comedian in local clubs. His local fame as a comedian encouraged him to dropout from college, and he subsequently won an ‘Emmy Award’ as a comedy writer for ‘The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour’. He started appearing on various popular comedy shows but his appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live’ proved to be a major breakthrough. He came up with four comedy albums and won ‘Grammy’ for ‘Let's Get Small’ and ‘A Wild and Crazy Guy’. He debuted on the big screen with small roles but eventually got his first prominent role in ‘Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band’ where his performance was appreciated by the masses. This encouraged him to co-write and act in his next film ‘The Jerk’ to make it into a huge commercial success. The movie is acknowledged to be his most notable work and he was also listed in the "The 100 Greatest Performances of All Time". While proving his prominence on the big screen with movies like ‘Father of the Bride’ and ‘Bringing Down the House’, he continued to publish a few successful novels which includes ‘Shopgirl’. We have compiled some inspiring quotations and sayings by the distinguished artist which have been excerpted from his interviews, work, thoughts, writings and life. Go through the quotes and thoughts by Steve Martin which will reveal the truths of life besides tickling your funny bones.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Steve Martin
It's pain that changes our lives.
Steve Martin
I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.
Steve Martin
Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
Steve Martin
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
Steve Martin
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.
Steve Martin
We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday.
Steve Martin
Be so good they can't ignore you.
Steve Martin
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
Steve Martin
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.
Steve Martin
I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...
The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.
Steve Martin
I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
Steve Martin
The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.
Steve Martin
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
Steve Martin
She tried to get even with him through psychological warfare but couldn't, because he didn't care.
Steve Martin
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Steve Martin
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."
Steve Martin
Steve Martin
Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties.
Steve Martin
Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything.
Steve Martin
A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred.
I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both, and how he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life.
Mirabelle is not affected by a man’s failures to approach her, as her own self-depreciating attitude never allows the idea that he would in the first place.
A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.”
L.A. Story (1991) – Harris Telemacher (Steve Martin)
Steve Martin
All of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.
Steve Martin
If you occasionally wonder how I know about some of the events I describe in this book, I don't. I have found that--just as in real life--imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.
Steve Martin
Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
Criticize things you don't know about
Be oblong and have your knees removed
Steve Martin
She didn't even finish her last sentence; it just trailed off. I think the subject had changed in her head while her mouth had continued on the old topic, not realizing it was out of supplies.
An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
Steve Martin
The overhead lights reflect in the glass countertop and mingle in the gray and black of the gloves, resulting in a mother-of-pearl swirl that sometimes sends Mirabelle into a shallow hypnotic dream.
Steve Martin
She started converting objects of beauty into objects of value.
Steve Martin
She has simply never quite learned to walk or hold herself comfortably
I am tired, so very tired of thinking about Lacey Yeager, yet I worry that unless I write her story down, and see it bound and tidy on my bookshelf, I will be unable to ever write about anything else.
Steve Martin
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
Steve Martin
Thinking too much also creates the illusion of causal connections between unrelated events.
Steve Martin
The auction houses seemed not as dull as their financial counterparts on Wall Street, where parents of daughters imagined glass celings and bottom patting.
Steve Martin
A triangle with four points is what Euclid rides into hell.
Steve Martin
He knows only what is right in front of him; she is aware of every incoming sensation that glances obliquely against her soft, fragile core
Steve Martin
Harder you Try, Luckier you get
Steve Martin
They told me to just "act like myself." When I said, "How do I do that?" they said to just have fun with it, but I'm not sure what they meant.
Finally, we do become wise, but then it's too late
Steve Martin
The dictionary is a perfect example of overalphabetization, with its harsh rules and every little word neatly in place. It almost makes me want to go on a diet of grapes and waste away to nothing.
 – Harris Telemacher (Steve Martin) )
