Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

38 Notable Quotes By Carl Hiaasen For The Penman

Famous As: Writer, Novelist, Children's writer, Journalist
Born On: March 12, 1953
Born In: Fort Lauderdale
Age: 69 Years
Carl Hiaasen is a prolific American writer and novelist. Born and raised in Plantation, Florida, Hiaasen started writing at the age of six when he received a typewriter as a Christmas gift from his father. After his graduation he joined Emory University and started writing satirical humor columns in ‘The Emory Wheel’ which was a student-run newspaper. After graduating with a degree in journalism he joined as a reporter at the ‘Cocoa Today’. He was then hired by ‘Miami Herald’ where he served for the Sunday magazine, investigative team and city desk. Since then he has been a regular columnist. Thereafter, he began writing novels in his leisure time and his first three novels were co-authored by William Montalbano. All his books have made it to the New York Times Best Sellers List. Following are some thoughts and quotes by Carl Hiaasen which have been collected from his writings, books, novels, columns, work and life. Presenting popular quotes and thoughts by Carl Hiaasen.
The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.

The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.

Carl Hiaasen
Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.

Carl Hiaasen
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

Carl Hiaasen
Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.

Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.

Carl Hiaasen
Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

Carl Hiaasen
Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.

Carl Hiaasen
The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't.

The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't.

Carl Hiaasen
I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book.

I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book.

Carl Hiaasen
Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice.

Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice.

Carl Hiaasen
Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

Carl Hiaasen
Disney world is an armpit,compared to Montana!!

Disney world is an armpit,compared to Montana!!

Carl Hiaasen
That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death.

That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death.

Carl Hiaasen
And in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.

And in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.

Carl Hiaasen
But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls.

But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls.

Carl Hiaasen
Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.

Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.

Carl Hiaasen
In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was.

In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was.

Carl Hiaasen
Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein.

Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein.

Carl Hiaasen
My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space.

My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space.

Carl Hiaasen
He wondered if something was mentally wrong with him for being content with what he had

He wondered if something was mentally wrong with him for being content with what he had

Carl Hiaasen
A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid.

A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid.

Carl Hiaasen
My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.

My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.

Carl Hiaasen
From the pancake house I drive directly to the county morgue. The contrast is not especially striking.

From the pancake house I drive directly to the county morgue. The contrast is not especially striking.

Carl Hiaasen
From the bow of the canoe she asked,

From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?" "First I need a virgin.

Carl Hiaasen
The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've been an easy snack for a saber-toothed tiger.

The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've been an easy snack for a saber-toothed tiger.

Carl Hiaasen
You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.

You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.

Carl Hiaasen
The other day, one of the big shots was trying to say ‘Nice shoes!’ and he accidentally told a government minister that his face looked like a butt wart. Not good.

The other day, one of the big shots was trying to say ‘Nice shoes!’ and he accidentally told a government minister that his face looked like a butt wart. Not good.

Carl Hiaasen
Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.

Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.

Carl Hiaasen
Shreave flicked away the dead mosquito.

Shreave flicked away the dead mosquito. "Don't these things carry the bird flu too?" "No Boyd, that would be a bird.

Carl Hiaasen
Cleveland, Ohio,

Cleveland, Ohio,

Carl Hiaasen
As he was pulled underwater for the final time, terror gave way to abject humiliation: he was being fucked to death by a damn fish.

As he was pulled underwater for the final time, terror gave way to abject humiliation: he was being fucked to death by a damn fish.

Carl Hiaasen
The Dragon Queen was firm: No sex, no more voodoo curses on Christopher.

The Dragon Queen was firm: No sex, no more voodoo curses on Christopher.

Carl Hiaasen
Miami ... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.

Miami ... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.

Carl Hiaasen
Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right.

Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right.

Carl Hiaasen
My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space. Easier said than done.

My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space. Easier said than done.

Carl Hiaasen
I married an asshole, she thought, knifing into the waves.

I married an asshole, she thought, knifing into the waves.

Carl Hiaasen
If anything is more irresistible than Jesus, it's Mickey.

If anything is more irresistible than Jesus, it's Mickey.

Carl Hiaasen
She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly agreed.

She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly agreed.

Carl Hiaasen
Whatever happens, I’m glad we ate that bleeping lizard.

Whatever happens, I’m glad we ate that bleeping lizard.

Carl Hiaasen