Craig Ferguson is a television personality, who is famous for being a standup comedia, actor, producer and voice over professional. He was born in Scotland in 1962 and initially performed in the UK, before moving to the United States at the age of 21. He started off as a drummer for a musical band but later on switched to standup comedy. He found success with The Craig Ferguson Show and later on the show 2000 Not Out among others. Ferguson then went to the US and it was with The Drew Carry Show that he became a well-known face in the American comedy circuit. He has also acted in several films and some of them include Niagara Motel, Chaine of Fools, The Ugly Truth and Lenny the Wonder Dog among others. Other well-known shows that he has hosted include The Late Night Show With Craig Ferguson, Join or Die With Craig Ferguson and Celebrity Name Game. Ferguson is currently regarded as one of the world’s most prominent standup comedians and his shows are consistently well received by a varied audience across the world. Here are some of the best quotes from Craig Ferguson.
Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.
Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
Craig Ferguson
Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.
I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote:
I give you the world.
Have fun blowing it up.
Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!
This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's all true.
In that sense it is deeply religious, perhaps even biblical.
Craig Ferguson
With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying.
Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken.
Infallibility is a sin in any man.
All laws can be broken and are.
Often.
Craig Ferguson
The world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight.
Craig Ferguson
This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it
The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when the word of God is infected by the hand of man, that is, written down, it is tainted.
I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.
Congratulations to the NBA champion Boston Celtics - they beat the Los Angeles Lakers by 39 points.
Or as Hillary Clinton would say, "Too close to call.
Craig Ferguson
After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.
My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them.
Craig Ferguson
Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.
Craig Ferguson
Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.
Craig Ferguson
If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you're bullet-proof.
The clocks understood, they kept moving, motion, following the truth that change is the nature of God's mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.
My mother was tickled and I think kind of proud when my father got hit on my an attractive middle-aged Asian lady who hadn't noticed he was with his family. He was certainly pleased about it.
It turns out that speeding irresponsibly in a large truck, placing personal wealth ahead of the welfare of others, is one of the greatest sins in the Universe....
Craig Ferguson
Acid gave me a clinical, unblinking look at madness, and I discovered I wasn't brave enough to be insane.
