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33 Top Andy Rooney Quotes That Speak His Mind

Famous As: Radio and Television Writer
Born On: January 14, 1919
Died On: November 4, 2011
Born In: Albany, New York
Died At Age: 92
Andy Rooney was a renowned American journalist and writer. He was one of the very few journalists who witnessed US air force raids on Germany. His experience of war inspired him to write his first book ‘Air Gunner’. He worked as a freelancer for few days, and was offered to write the CBS ‘Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts’, which turned out to be a hit on both radio and television and topped the television ratings. This encouraged him to write TV shows. He also contributed to news programs which got him his first Emmy Award. He further appeared and wrote for various programs including ‘In Praise of New York City’ and the ‘Mr Rooney’ series. He wrote a commentary in the CBS news magazine ‘60 minutes’ called ‘A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney’ which became popular and ran for more than three decades. He won four Emmy Awards and a Lifetime Achievement Award from Emmy. We have collected his most famous quotes from his work, writings, and shows. You will be fascinated by Andy Rooney’s quotes and thoughts as they portray a few truths of life -  Some are poignant, some are obvious, but each quote is so Andy. Check them out!
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

Andy Rooney
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Andy Rooney
If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.

If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.

Andy Rooney
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

Andy Rooney
It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Andy Rooney
The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Andy Rooney
I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

Andy Rooney
I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Andy Rooney
I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Andy Rooney
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Andy Rooney
I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.

I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.

Andy Rooney
I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

Andy Rooney
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

Andy Rooney
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Andy Rooney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Andy Rooney
I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.

I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.

Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Andy Rooney
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.

Andy Rooney
If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Andy Rooney
I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

Andy Rooney
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Andy Rooney
My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea.

My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea.

Andy Rooney
The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There's a kind of glory to them when they're all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.

The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There's a kind of glory to them when they're all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.

Andy Rooney
My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

Andy Rooney
The trouble with dictionaries is, they tell you more about words than you want to know without answering the question you have.

The trouble with dictionaries is, they tell you more about words than you want to know without answering the question you have.

Andy Rooney
It’s just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there.

It’s just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there.

Andy Rooney
I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isn't true.

I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isn't true.

Andy Rooney
Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Andy Rooney
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Andy Rooney
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

Andy Rooney
I'm an admirer of everything Dr. Martin Luther King stood for, but I don't think he would have stood for this

I'm an admirer of everything Dr. Martin Luther King stood for, but I don't think he would have stood for this

Andy Rooney