Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of quotes by Billy Connolly on humor, satire, comedy, life, fun, music, belief, God, Christianity, chance, character, happiness, travel and politicians.

18 Great Billy Connolly Quotes With A Difference

Famous As: Stand-up Comedian
Born On: November 24, 1942
Born In: Glasgow, Scotland
Billy Connolly is a famous Scottish actor, musician, and comedian. After struggling for survival in petty jobs he started his entertainment career as a singer. He came out with his first solo album titled ‘Billy Connolly Live!’ which gave him instant fame and was followed by various other successful albums. During this period he appeared on many television shows starting with the famous TV show ‘Parkinson’. He even wrote many plays including ‘Red Runner’ and became famous as a playwright. His fame as a versatile entertainer paved his path to the big screen and he came up with his first movie titled ‘Water’ which was followed by many other movies including ‘Indecent Proposals’. During this period he performed at various live concerts and also gave his voice for some remarkable video games. His versatility was proven again when he fascinated the masses with his comic talent. This multi-talented entertainer has been honored with various awards and accolades including the ‘BAFTA Lifetime Achievement Award’. Being a funny man, he has a different view of things and some of these thoughts and views have become iconic and are quoted quite frequently. The work, writings, novels, books, sayings and quotes by the distinguished comedian are sure to inspire you besides tickling your funny bones. Have a look at the collection of quotations, thoughts and sayings by Billy Connolly.

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?

Billy Connolly

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on.

Billy Connolly

Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!

Billy Connolly

A fart is just your arse applauding.

Billy Connolly

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Billy Connolly

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

Billy Connolly

If you give people a chance, they shine.

Billy Connolly

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

Billy Connolly

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Billy Connolly

All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

Billy Connolly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Billy Connolly

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but then again so is a bicycle repair kit.

Billy Connolly

Never trust a man who when left alone with a tea cosey... doesn't try it on.

Billy Connolly

Never trust people who've only got one fucking book.

Billy Connolly

Wisdom is the contant questioning of where you are. And when you stop wanting to know, you're dea. You're walking, but you're dead.

Billy Connolly

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

Billy Connolly

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one.” "Don't vote. It just encourages them....

Billy Connolly