
I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,I drunk me a river since you tore me apart

Well, it's either kiss me or kill me, that's how I see it.

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.

I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

It ain't no sin, to take off your skin and dance around in your bones

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.

You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

And the earth died screaming, while I lay dreaming...

Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.

Oh, I'm not a percussionist, I just like to hit things.

The earth is not my home, I'm just passing by

I don't go to church on Sunday, don't get on my knees to pray, or memorize the books of the Bible, I got my own special way

I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.

The piano has been drinking, not me.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

All that you've loved is all you own

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.

And the things you can’t remember tell the things you can’t forget that history puts a saint in every dream.

I've been riding on the crest of a slump lately.

I ain't got no spare/I ain't got no jack/I don't give a shit/I'm not going back

Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own...

It's very hard to stop doing things you're used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.

You got to tell me the brave captain Why are the wicked so strong? How do the angels get to sleep When the devil leaves the porch light on?

Time is just memory Mixed in with Desire.

They say that I have no hits and that I'm difficult to work with. And they say that like it's a bad thing.

But it's so hard to dance that way when it's cold and there's no music.

We are all just monkeys with money and guns.

Never have your wallet with you onstage. It's bad luck. You shouldn't play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money. Tom Waits (to me, about 1986 or so)

The Universe is making music all the time.

Let me fall out of the window/ With confetti in my hair

The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

I've seen it all through the yellow windows of the evening train...

When the weather's rough and it's whiskey in the rain it's best to wrap your savior up in cellophane.

Sing me a rainbow. Steal me a dream.

Your old home town's so far away, but inside your head there's a record that's playing, a song called 'Hold On

Well you say that it's gospel, But I know that it's only church.

The beginning of it starts at the end

I walked 500 miles just to see a halo, when I opened my eyes I was blind as can be.

Slept all night in the cedar grove, i was born to ramble, born to rove, some men are searchin' for the holy grail, but there ain't nothin' sweeter than ridin' the rails

My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane.

The Music was like Electric Sugar

It's the same with men as with horses and dogs, nothing wants to die.

There's no prayer like desire.

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint-- I'm selfish and I'm cruel and I'm blind. If I exorcise my devils, well my angels may leave too. When they leave they're so hard to find...

Got a head full of lightning, a hat full of rain.

When your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I worry about a lot of things, but I don’t worry about achievements. I worry primarily about whether there are nightclubs in Heaven.

And when they pulled her from the wreck, you know, she still had on her shades
![Bringing up children was]like living with a bunch of drunks...you really have to be on your toes all the time.](https://quotes.thefamouspeople.com/images/quotes/tom-waits-54036.jpg)
Bringing up children was]like living with a bunch of drunks...you really have to be on your toes all the time.

It's cold out there, colder than a ticket taker's smile at the Ivar Theatre on a Saturday night.

I just don't like the word 'fun'--it's like Volkswagen, or bell-bottoms, or patchouli-oil or bean-sprouts...it rubs me up the wrong way.

I danced along a colored wind/ Dangled from a rope of sand

Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at.

I never told the truth so i can never tell a lie...

Most of the things you absorb you will ultimately secrete.

I made a wish on a sliver of moonlight A sly grin and a bowl full of stars

Using parking meters as walking sticks.

You must have brought the bad weather with you The sky's the color of lead All you've left me is a feather On an unmade bed

Arithmetic arithmetock Turn the hands back on the clock How does the ocean rock the boat? How did the razor find my throat? The only strings that hold me here Are tangled up around the pier.

There ain't no devil there's just god when he's drunk

I'm not fighting for justice. I am not fighting for freedom. I am fighting for my life and another day in the world here.

Hell is boiling over. And heaven is full. We're chained to the world. And we all gotta pull. And we're all gonna be ...just dirt in the ground".

I'm so goddamn horny, the crack of dawn better be careful around me!

God's away, God's away, God's away on business. Business!

There is no such thing as nonfiction.

Don't you know there ain't no devil; there's just God when he's drunk.

Writing songs is like capturing birds without killing them. Sometimes you end up with nothing but a mouthful of feathers.

And I remember quiet evenings trembling close to you...

Picture in a frame

She’s got the whole dark forest living inside of her.

When you are writing, you're conjuring. It's a ritual, and you need to be brave and respectful and sometimes get out of the way of whatever it is that you're inviting into the room.

An all time favorite: "The large print giveth, the small print taketh away.

... there ain't no devil, it's just God when he's drunk.

You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops.

Misery's the river of the world. Everybody row!

There ain't no devil, just God when he's drunk.