A collection of quotes and thoughts by Steven Wright on humor, walking, memories, past, think, fishing, writing, idiot, funny, desert, people, mirror and experience.
181 Notable Quotes By Steven Wright For Your Daily Dose Of Delight
Steven Alexander Wright is an Oscar-winning American film producer, comedian, actor and writer. Wright is renowned for his distinctly slothful voice, and unrushed delivery of philosophical, sometimes nonsensical, cryptic and ironic jokes, anti-humor, satirical one liner. ‘Comedy Central’ listed him at the twenty-third place in the list of ‘100 greatest stand-up comics’. Besides being a comedian he is also a musician and has recorded various non-comedy songs. Some of the Wright’s famous discography includes, ‘I Have A Pony’, ‘I Still Have A Pony’, ‘One Solider’ and ‘The Appointments of Dennis Jennings’. He became the first inductee to the ‘Boston Comedy Hall Of Fame’ in 2008 and was nominated twice for ‘Emmy Awards’ besides bagging in the ‘Academy Award’. We have gathered some funny one-liner, thoughts, views and opinions by the renowned artist which is quoted extensively. Read through the inspirational, humorous and ironic quotes and sayings by Steven Wright.
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.'
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Alexander Wright
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.
I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Alexander Wright
My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about.
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
