Advertising - A judicious mixture of flattery and threats.
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it
Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.
Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.
It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.
It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.
It may be those who do most, dream most.
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself--it is the occurring which is difficult.
There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.
What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.
A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and kill something.
The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.
A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.
The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
Concealed from view a face so face-like in its appearance as to be positively facial.
A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.
Many a man inlove with a dimple makes the mistake of marring the whole Girl
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing.
It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.
Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.
Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
If their occupation is actual work they prefer to pump water into cisterns, two of which leak through holes in the bottom and one of which is water-tight. A, of course, has the good one;
