17 Famous Quotes By Phyllis Diller That Will Leave You Grinning Like A Cheshire Cat

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never

Phyllis Diller  

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Phyllis Diller  

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

Like

Phyllis Diller  

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller  

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Children I

Phyllis Diller  

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.

Business

Phyllis Diller  

Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?

You

Phyllis Diller  

Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your fucking Xmas card

Phyllis Diller  

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

Love Money Friends Women Children

Phyllis Diller  

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Home Will Children

Phyllis Diller  

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Life

Phyllis Diller  

I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.

Phyllis Diller  

A smile is a curve that sets things right.

Phyllis Diller  

Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

You Think I

Phyllis Diller  

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance.

You

Phyllis Diller  

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Children

Phyllis Diller  

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

Phyllis Diller