Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A collection of quotes by Phyllis Diller on ageing, laugh, husband, children, love, aim, anger, pain, audience, and beauty.

17 Famous Quotes By Phyllis Diller That Will Leave You Grinning Like A Cheshire Cat

Famous As: Actor, Comedian, Voice actor, Stage actor, Television actor
Born On: July 17, 1917
Died On: August 20, 2012
Born In: Lima
Died At Age: 95
Phyllis Diller was an august American stand-up comedian and actress, recognized for her self-deprecating humor, her exaggerated crackling laugh, aberrant stage persona, and her unique clothes and hair. She was one of the first female comics to gain immense popularity with her innovative stand-up comedy. She had a great influence on Ellen DeGeneres, Joan Rivers, and Roseanne Barr. She is regarded as a gay icon and had a large gay following. She was highly recognized by the society for openly championing plastic surgery. We have curated some funny and meaningful quotes by Phyllis Diller, which have been excerpted from her gigs, movies, dialogues, one liners, catchphrases, etc. 

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Phyllis Diller

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

Phyllis Diller

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Phyllis Diller

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.

Phyllis Diller

Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?

Phyllis Diller

Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your fucking Xmas card

Phyllis Diller

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

Phyllis Diller

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Phyllis Diller

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Phyllis Diller

I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.

Phyllis Diller

A smile is a curve that sets things right.

Phyllis Diller

Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

Phyllis Diller

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance.

Phyllis Diller

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Phyllis Diller

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

Phyllis Diller