I suspect most self-described 18-year-old Scandinavian women named Inga who collect and wear string bikinis are, in reality, more likely to be middle-aged, pot-bellied guys named Lou who collect and wear string cheese.
There's a difference between climate & weather, moron!
There is a certain comfort in waking up and finding that Michael Jackson is still the Big Story. At least it tells you that nothing horrible has happened in the world that would force them to move on to real news.
The most important political task facing the out-of-power party - the Democrats for now - is creating a villain to run against. It's certainly easier than developing some grand new ideas or policies on which to campaign.
That's the trouble with trying to influence an undecided voter. First you have to find one
Sometimes you just stumble into something that works, and here I am a quarter of a century later.
One day, someone will get too close to the television, and I will pull them into this hell with me.
Once you buy a prize, it's yours to keep.
It seems to me we have been in a rhetorical arms race in this country, with each side unwilling to lay down its weapons for fear - usually justified - the other side would beat them to a pulp.
I'm more concerned about members of Congress being drug-free than I am about members of the Yankees or Giants
I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer.
I dont' like talking to horses because they are naysayers
Global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends.
Anyone who has seen me spin that heavy, giant wheel on television knows that I'm not a steroid user
Being a conservative in Hollywood is like walking into a shooting range with a bull's-eye attached to your body. There are more of us than you would believe, but if you want to keep working, you feel like you have to keep quiet.
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Clinton cost John Kerry more votes than he gained for him whenever they appeared together. Imagine being part of a crowd enraptured by the presence of Bill Clinton, and then having to listen to a speech by John Kerry!
If any group of citizens is uniquely unqualified to tell someone else how to vote, it's those of us who live in the sheltered, privileged arena of celebrity hood......Trust me, one's view of the world isn't any clearer from the back seat of a limo.
There is a reason the Democrats have had only two Presidents since 1968 and have managed to lose control of both houses of Congress in recent years. There is a reason they keep snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. And it's not fraud and it's not dirty politics and it's not stupid voters. It's the plain and simple fact that the majority of those who vote don't like them.
