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100 Memorable Quotes By PG Wodehouse That Will Fill You With Hope

Famous As: Author
Born On: October 15, 1881
Died On: February 14, 1975
Born In: Guildford, England
Died At Age: 93

Have you ever made someone laugh with your written work? If yes, then you would know how hard it is to purposefully write something that would incite a smile on someone’s face. Well, that calls for a round of appreciation for our humourists for they have not only mastered the art of storytelling but have become proficient at comedy as well. And while talking of humourists, one cannot just fathom the contribution made by PG Wodehouse in English literature. An author, comic novelist, short story writer, lyricist and playwright, Wodehouse believed that it was his easy take on life that allowed him to take a humorous view of things. Wodehouse’s writing started a legacy that survives in his characters most of which are still touted as the best in comic fiction. So, whether it is the feather-brained Bertie Wooster or the wise valet, Jeeves, the immaculate and loquacious Psmith or tell-tale man Mr Mulliner, each of them carry the legacy of Wodehouse’s brilliance till date. And just as his characters, fresh out of a woven classic comic fiction even today, Wodehouse quotes too are small gems of wisdom that have not lost their shine and sparkle, despite withstanding the test of time. Interestingly, he has penned quotes for every occasion and every situation. Read through the following section and get hold of some of the Quotes by PG Wodehouse. They sure will leave you smilingly with hope.

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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

P G Wodehouse
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

P G Wodehouse
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

P G Wodehouse
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

P G Wodehouse
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

P G Wodehouse
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.

Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.

P G Wodehouse
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'

There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.

P G Wodehouse
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

P G Wodehouse
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

P G Wodehouse
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

P G Wodehouse
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

P G Wodehouse
What ho!

What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

P G Wodehouse
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".

P G Wodehouse
I always advise people never to give advice.

I always advise people never to give advice.

P G Wodehouse
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

P G Wodehouse
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

P G Wodehouse
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.

P G Wodehouse
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

P G Wodehouse
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said,

Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?

P G Wodehouse
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

P G Wodehouse
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.

It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.

P G Wodehouse
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

P G Wodehouse
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

P G Wodehouse
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

P G Wodehouse
If he had a mind, there was something on it.

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

P G Wodehouse
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

P G Wodehouse
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

P G Wodehouse
I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit.

I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit.

P G Wodehouse
As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

P G Wodehouse
She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.

She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.

P G Wodehouse
I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

P G Wodehouse
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

P G Wodehouse
It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

P G Wodehouse
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

P G Wodehouse
I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.

I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.

P G Wodehouse
Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

P G Wodehouse
Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

P G Wodehouse
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

P G Wodehouse
Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.

Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.

P G Wodehouse
She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season

She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season

P G Wodehouse
Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

P G Wodehouse
Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.

Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.

P G Wodehouse
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

P G Wodehouse
She had more curves than a scenic railway

She had more curves than a scenic railway

P G Wodehouse
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

P G Wodehouse
The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.

The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.

P G Wodehouse
We Woosters do not lightly forget. At least, we do - some things - appointments, and people's birthdays, and letters to post, and all that - but not an absolutely bally insult like the above.

We Woosters do not lightly forget. At least, we do - some things - appointments, and people's birthdays, and letters to post, and all that - but not an absolutely bally insult like the above.

P G Wodehouse
I am Psmith,

I am Psmith," said the old Etonian reverently. "There is a preliminary P before the name. This, however, is silent. Like the tomb. Compare such words as ptarmigan, psalm, and phthisis.

P G Wodehouse
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.

It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.

P G Wodehouse
Employers are like horses — they require management.

Employers are like horses — they require management.

P G Wodehouse
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.

Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.

P G Wodehouse
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

P G Wodehouse
You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

P G Wodehouse
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

P G Wodehouse
I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.

I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.

P G Wodehouse
When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.

When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.

P G Wodehouse
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

P G Wodehouse
I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.

I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.

P G Wodehouse
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

P G Wodehouse
You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.

You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.

P G Wodehouse
I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.

I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design.

P G Wodehouse
I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.

I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.

P G Wodehouse
Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests!

Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests!

P G Wodehouse
I marmaladed a slice of toast with something of a flourish and I don't suppose I have ever come much closer to saying 'Tra la la' as I did the lathering for I was feeling in mid season form this morning.

I marmaladed a slice of toast with something of a flourish and I don't suppose I have ever come much closer to saying 'Tra la la' as I did the lathering for I was feeling in mid season form this morning.

P G Wodehouse
...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.

...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking.

P G Wodehouse
Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit.

Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit." "Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.

P G Wodehouse
Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?

Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?

P G Wodehouse
[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

P G Wodehouse
I expect I shall feel better after tea.

I expect I shall feel better after tea.

P G Wodehouse
I remember her telling me once that rabbits were the gnomes in attendance to the Fairy Queen and that the stars were God's daisy chain. Perfect rot, of course.

I remember her telling me once that rabbits were the gnomes in attendance to the Fairy Queen and that the stars were God's daisy chain. Perfect rot, of course.

P G Wodehouse
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

P G Wodehouse
Everything is relative. you, for instance, are my relative.

Everything is relative. you, for instance, are my relative.

P G Wodehouse
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.

It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.

P G Wodehouse
I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

P G Wodehouse
Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

P G Wodehouse
Providence looks after all the chumps of this world, and personally, I'm all for it.

Providence looks after all the chumps of this world, and personally, I'm all for it.

P G Wodehouse
No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

P G Wodehouse
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.

The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.

P G Wodehouse
Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.

Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.

P G Wodehouse
When you're alone you don't do much laughing.

When you're alone you don't do much laughing.

P G Wodehouse
She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.

She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.

P G Wodehouse
It was my Uncle George who discovered alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

It was my Uncle George who discovered alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

P G Wodehouse
Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem that we men can never hope to solve.

Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem that we men can never hope to solve.

P G Wodehouse
Say what you will, there is something fine about our old aristocracy. I'll bet Trotsky couldn't hit a moving secretary with an egg on a dark night.

Say what you will, there is something fine about our old aristocracy. I'll bet Trotsky couldn't hit a moving secretary with an egg on a dark night.

P G Wodehouse
He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle.

He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle.

P G Wodehouse
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

P G Wodehouse
I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.

I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.

P G Wodehouse
When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

P G Wodehouse
There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

P G Wodehouse
Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

P G Wodehouse
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

P G Wodehouse
A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.

A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.

P G Wodehouse
She's a sort of human vampire-bat

She's a sort of human vampire-bat

P G Wodehouse
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.

P G Wodehouse
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.

It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.

P G Wodehouse
What a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

What a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

P G Wodehouse
One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.

One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.

P G Wodehouse
As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.

As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire.

P G Wodehouse
Well, there it is. That's Jeeves. Where others merely smite the brow and clutch the hair, he acts. Napoleon was the same.

Well, there it is. That's Jeeves. Where others merely smite the brow and clutch the hair, he acts. Napoleon was the same.

P G Wodehouse
Every author really wants to have letters printed in the paper. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the paper. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

P G Wodehouse