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100 Life Altering Kurt Vonnegut Quotes

Famous As: Writer Known For His Satirical and Darkly Humorous Novels
Born On: November 11, 1922
Died On: April 11, 2007
Born In: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States
Died At Age: 84

Kurt Vonnegut was an American author, essayist and novelist known for his science-fiction elements and satirical literary style. He published five plays, three short stories, five fiction works and 14 novels in his writing career that spanned over 20 years. Cat's Cradle, Player Piano and Breakfast of Champions were two of its best works. The darkly satirical Slaughterhouse-five was the bestseller of 1969. The writer of great characters was a bit of a character himself. A patron of counterculture, Vonnegut wrote great books, won several hearts and did some weird stuff. He graduated from Cornell University in early 1940s. Thereafter, he was enlisted for the U.S. army. The army sent him to study engineering at Carnegie Mellon University. Having fought in the Battle of the Bulge, Vonnegut was captured as a war prisoner. After his release, he began his professional career in writing. It's surprising that Kurt graded his novels to evaluate his writing skills. Being a hardcore supporter of anti-censorship movement, Vonnegut's revolutionary ideas, coarse language and objectionable scene in Slaughterhouse-five stirred up several controversies in the society. His book was banned and challenged in different areas. To honor his literary talent, astronomer Charles W. Juels-- a discoverer of several asteroids named am asteroid in Vonnegut's name on his 77th birthday. We have collected some of most celebrated quotes from Kurt Vonnegut's various works.  Presenting some life altering quotes by Kurt Vonnegut that will change the way you see it.

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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

Kurt Vonnegut
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Kurt Vonnegut
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

Kurt Vonnegut
Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

Kurt Vonnegut
If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC

Kurt Vonnegut
We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

Kurt Vonnegut
And so it goes...

And so it goes...

Kurt Vonnegut
Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Kurt Vonnegut
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

Kurt Vonnegut
Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are,

Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been.

Kurt Vonnegut
How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.

How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.

Kurt Vonnegut
And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.

And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.

Kurt Vonnegut
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.

The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.

Kurt Vonnegut
Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

Kurt Vonnegut
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.

Kurt Vonnegut
Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.

Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.

Kurt Vonnegut
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

Kurt Vonnegut
Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand.

Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.

Kurt Vonnegut
Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.

Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.

Kurt Vonnegut
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

Kurt Vonnegut
The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

Kurt Vonnegut
Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.

Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.

Kurt Vonnegut
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

Kurt Vonnegut
I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.

I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.

Kurt Vonnegut
The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.

The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.

Kurt Vonnegut
Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Kurt Vonnegut
Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?

Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?

Kurt Vonnegut
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.

I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.

Kurt Vonnegut
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

Kurt Vonnegut
Science is magic that works.

Science is magic that works.

Kurt Vonnegut
A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.

A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.

Kurt Vonnegut
All this happened, more or less.

All this happened, more or less.

Kurt Vonnegut
If you can do no good, at least do no harm.

If you can do no good, at least do no harm.

Kurt Vonnegut
When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

Kurt Vonnegut
What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.

Kurt Vonnegut
Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber.

Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I’ve said before, bugs in amber.

Kurt Vonnegut
There is no beginning, no middle, no end, no suspense, no moral, no causes, no effects. What we love in our books are the depths of many marvelous moments seen all at one time.

There is no beginning, no middle, no end, no suspense, no moral, no causes, no effects. What we love in our books are the depths of many marvelous moments seen all at one time.

Kurt Vonnegut
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

Kurt Vonnegut
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

Kurt Vonnegut
All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.

All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.

Kurt Vonnegut
If somebody says 'I love you' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol holder requires? 'I love you, too'.

If somebody says 'I love you' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol holder requires? 'I love you, too'.

Kurt Vonnegut
Do you realize that all great literature is all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? Isn't it such a relief to have somebody say that?

Do you realize that all great literature is all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? Isn't it such a relief to have somebody say that?

Kurt Vonnegut
And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.

And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.

Kurt Vonnegut
I wanted all things
To seem to make some sense,
So we could all be happy, yes,
Instead of tense.
And I made up lies
So that they all fit nice,
And I made this sad world
A par-a-dise.

I wanted all things To seem to make some sense, So we could all be happy, yes, Instead of tense. And I made up lies So that they all fit nice, And I made this sad world A par-a-dise.

Kurt Vonnegut
I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did'.

I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did'.

Kurt Vonnegut
I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without expectations of rewards or punishments after I am dead.

I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without expectations of rewards or punishments after I am dead.

Kurt Vonnegut
Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.

Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.

Kurt Vonnegut
That's one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones.

That's one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones.

Kurt Vonnegut
Wake up, you idiots! Whatever made you think that money was so valuable?

Wake up, you idiots! Whatever made you think that money was so valuable?

Kurt Vonnegut
The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow.

The practice of art isn't to make a living. It's to make your soul grow.

Kurt Vonnegut
You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.

You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.

Kurt Vonnegut
I'm not a drug salesman. I'm a writer.

I'm not a drug salesman. I'm a writer." "What makes you think a writer isn't a drug salesman?

Kurt Vonnegut
There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.

There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.

Kurt Vonnegut
No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.

No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.

Kurt Vonnegut
I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on.

I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on.

Kurt Vonnegut
People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say.

People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say.

Kurt Vonnegut
We're terrible animals. I think that the Earth's immune system is trying to get rid of us, as well it should.

We're terrible animals. I think that the Earth's immune system is trying to get rid of us, as well it should.

Kurt Vonnegut
Just because you can read, write and do a little math, doesn't mean that you're entitled to conquer the universe.

Just because you can read, write and do a little math, doesn't mean that you're entitled to conquer the universe.

Kurt Vonnegut
She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies.

She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies.

Kurt Vonnegut
We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.

We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.

Kurt Vonnegut
All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me.

All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me.

Kurt Vonnegut
We could have saved [the Earth] but we were too damned cheap.

We could have saved [the Earth] but we were too damned cheap.

Kurt Vonnegut
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

Kurt Vonnegut
People aren’t supposed to look back. I’m certainly not going to do it anymore.

People aren’t supposed to look back. I’m certainly not going to do it anymore.

Kurt Vonnegut
It is just an illusion here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone, it is gone forever.

It is just an illusion here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone, it is gone forever.

Kurt Vonnegut
No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.

No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.

Kurt Vonnegut
Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier.

Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier.

Kurt Vonnegut
I think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies, or people just aren't going to want to go on living.

I think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies, or people just aren't going to want to go on living.

Kurt Vonnegut
Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

Kurt Vonnegut
There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.

There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.

Kurt Vonnegut
Maturity...is knowing what your limitations are...Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

Maturity...is knowing what your limitations are...Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

Kurt Vonnegut
Ting-a-ling mother fucker.

Ting-a-ling mother fucker.

Kurt Vonnegut
She hated people who thought too much. At that moment, she struck me as an appropriate representative for almost all mankind.

She hated people who thought too much. At that moment, she struck me as an appropriate representative for almost all mankind.

Kurt Vonnegut
I can have oodles of charm when I want to.

I can have oodles of charm when I want to.

Kurt Vonnegut
You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.

You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.

Kurt Vonnegut
If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

Kurt Vonnegut
All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Kurt Vonnegut
There is one other book, that can teach you everything you need to know about life... it's The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, but that's not enough anymore.

There is one other book, that can teach you everything you need to know about life... it's The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, but that's not enough anymore.

Kurt Vonnegut
Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.

Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.

Kurt Vonnegut
If I am going to spend eternity visiting this moment and that, I'm grateful that so many of those moments are nice.

If I am going to spend eternity visiting this moment and that, I'm grateful that so many of those moments are nice.

Kurt Vonnegut
And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.

And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.

Kurt Vonnegut
If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?

If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?

Kurt Vonnegut
I couldn't help wondering if that was what God put me on Earth for--to find out how much a man could take without breaking.

I couldn't help wondering if that was what God put me on Earth for--to find out how much a man could take without breaking.

Kurt Vonnegut
Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.

Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.

Kurt Vonnegut
We are what we imagine ourselves to be.

We are what we imagine ourselves to be.

Kurt Vonnegut
I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.

I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.

Kurt Vonnegut
There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.

There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.

Kurt Vonnegut
To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.

To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.

Kurt Vonnegut
Until you die .. it's all life.

Until you die .. it's all life.

Kurt Vonnegut
The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn't want to be used by anybody.

The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn't want to be used by anybody.

Kurt Vonnegut
Everything is nothing, with a twist.

Everything is nothing, with a twist.

Kurt Vonnegut
The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death.

The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death.

Kurt Vonnegut
Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?

Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?

Kurt Vonnegut
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Kurt Vonnegut
A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society.

A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society.

Kurt Vonnegut
Be patient, Ophelia.

Love,
Hamlet

Be patient, Ophelia. Love, Hamlet

Kurt Vonnegut
In nonsense is strength

In nonsense is strength

Kurt Vonnegut
Self-taught, are you?

Self-taught, are you?" Julian Castle asked Newt. "Isn't everybody?" Newt inquired. "Very good answer.

Kurt Vonnegut
Life is no way to treat an animal.

Life is no way to treat an animal.

Kurt Vonnegut