If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.
Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.
The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.
I'll pour you the first one and after that, if you don't have one, it's your own f****** fault. You know where it is.
Nice things are nicer than nasty ones.
Death has this much to be said for it: You don't have to get out of bed for it. Wherever you happen to be They bring it to you—free.
Doing what you wanted to do was the only training, and the only preliminary, needed for doing more of what you wanted to do.
Only a world without love strikes me as instantly and decisively more terrible than one without music.
One of the great benefits of organised religion is that you can be forgiven your sins, which must be a wonderful thing. . .I mean, I carry my sins around with me, there's nobody there to forgive them.
Laziness has become the chief characteristic of journalism, displacing incompetence.
Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life, a mark of the naive - or worse.
He thought how much he liked her and had in common with her, and how much she'd like and have in common with him if she only knew him.
Yevgeny Yevtushenko: 'You atheist?' "Kingsley Amis: 'Well, yes, but it's more that I hate him.
It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their life as children.
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.
Cited by the author of 'Lucky Jim' as one of the most dismal depressing questions in the English language: "Shall we go straight in?
It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Education is one thing and instruction, however worthy, necessary and incidentally or monetarily educative, another.
There was no excuse which didn't consist of inexcusable.
When the bishop farted we were amused to hear about it. Should the ploughboy find treasure we must be told. But when the ploughboy farts... er... keep it to yourself.
It was a perfect title, in that it crystallized the article's niggling mindlessness, its funeral parade of yawn-enforcing facts, the pseudo-light it threw upon non-problems.
I am always incorrigibly interested in the behaviour of the 'human animal', and look forward to perusing divers effusions of your lively pen.
For the first time he really felt that it was no use trying to save those who fundamentally would rather not be saved.
It's never pleasant to have one's unquestioning beliefs put in their historical context, as I know from experience, I can assure you.
Wives and such are constantly filling up any refrigerator they have a claim on, even its ice-compartment, with irrelevant rubbish like food.
...he could sense her breathing, her temple against his jaw and her shoulder under his hand were warm, her hair smelt of well-brushed hair, he could feel the presence of her body...
SF's NO GOOD! They bellow 'til we're deaf But =this= is good Well, then, it's not SF!
The real trouble with liars ... was that there could never be any guarantee against their occasionally telling the truth.
A German wine label is one of the things life’s too short for.
If you want to behave better and feel better, the only absolutely certain method is drinking less. But to find out how to do that, you will have to find a more expert expert than I shall ever be.
Beware of curiously shaped or oddly-got-up bottles: you are likely to be paying for the parcel rather than what is wrapped up in it.
If you want to finish the evening with your usual number of fingers, do any cutting-up, peel-slicing and the like before you have had more than a couple of drinks, preferably before your first.
Nothing short of physical handicap has ever made anybody turn over a new leaf.
America takes her writers too seriously.
Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life, a mark of the naive-or worse.
