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99 Famous Quotes By James Patterson For Insatiable Readers

Famous As: American Author Known for His Thrillers, Mysteries and Romance Novels
Born On: March 22, 1947
Born In: Newburgh, New York, United States
Age: 75 Years
James Patterson is an illustrious American author and philanthropist. He has written a number of romantic novels, stand-alone thrillers and non-fiction books. Besides selling 300 million copies of his books, he also holds the title of being the first author to sell 1 million e-books. For three consecutive years, Patterson topped ‘Forbes’s list of highest-paid authors’. His estimated total income over a decade is approximately $700 million. Patterson also received the ‘Literarian Award’ from the ‘National Book Foundation’ in 2015. As a philanthropist, he has generously donated millions of dollars for a number of causes which include colleges, college students, school libraries, universities and book stores. Read through the collection of quotable quotations and sayings by the prolific author which have been excerpted from his books, novels, writings, thoughts, works, interviews, public utterances and life. Presenting notable quotes and thoughts by James Patterson on escape, thanksgiving, people, powerful, children, business, movies, television, grandparents, smile, inside, craftsman, mystery, accomplish, questions, storytelling, delight, worry, care and more.
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Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.

Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.

James Patterson
Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?

Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?

James Patterson
Can I come in?
No! I'm in a towel!
I'm blind!

Can I come in? No! I'm in a towel! I'm blind!

James Patterson
Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.

Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.

James Patterson
Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.

Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.

James Patterson
I can talk to fish!

I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner," Fang said, joining us.

James Patterson
You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.

You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.

James Patterson
I feel like, like pudding,

I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.

James Patterson
What happened to your tan?

What happened to your tan?"--Fang "It was dirt." --Max

James Patterson
The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.

The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.

James Patterson
Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?

Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?

James Patterson
Here's a freebie: Don't play poker with a kid who can read minds.

Here's a freebie: Don't play poker with a kid who can read minds.

James Patterson
Max:

Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!" Fang: "But we're grounded." Max and Fang: (stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing)

James Patterson
We’ll be back!” he snarled.
It was really Ari’s voice.
Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to,” said Fang

We’ll be back!” he snarled. It was really Ari’s voice. Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to,” said Fang

James Patterson
You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.

You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.

James Patterson
YOU COULD LOCK the Gasman in a padded cell with some dental floss and a bowl of Jell-O, and he'd find a way to make something to explode.

YOU COULD LOCK the Gasman in a padded cell with some dental floss and a bowl of Jell-O, and he'd find a way to make something to explode.

James Patterson
Holy [Insert your choice of a swear word here],

Holy [Insert your choice of a swear word here]," said Fang stunned.

James Patterson
How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?

How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?" Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened.

James Patterson
Well, that's an evil smile...

Well, that's an evil smile...

James Patterson
He's gonna be fine,

He's gonna be fine," I confirmed. Can we see him?" Iggy asked. Ig, I hate to break it to you, but you're blind.

James Patterson
Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely.
 Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.

Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.

James Patterson
A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

James Patterson
In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world. Okay, not really. But there should be.

In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world. Okay, not really. But there should be.

James Patterson
Nudge:

Nudge: "I look like prep school Barbie. (looks at Max) Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend.

James Patterson
They [Erasers] were bad fliers,

They [Erasers] were bad fliers," Angel chimed in, "And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!

James Patterson
Dr. Martinez:

Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parent?" Max: "Uh, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to the test tube please?

James Patterson
I vill eat nine Snikuhs bahs visout bahfing

I vill eat nine Snikuhs bahs visout bahfing

James Patterson
Fang felt a cold jolt, then dismissed it. Max wasn’t dead. He would know, somehow. He would have felt it. The world still felt the same to him; therefore, Max was still in it.

Fang felt a cold jolt, then dismissed it. Max wasn’t dead. He would know, somehow. He would have felt it. The world still felt the same to him; therefore, Max was still in it.

James Patterson
Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open.

Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open." Have you been watching Oprah again?

James Patterson
I hate this guy,” Ari muttered, keeping his head down
“There’s a club,” I told him. “The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have you gotten your badge yet?

I hate this guy,” Ari muttered, keeping his head down “There’s a club,” I told him. “The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have you gotten your badge yet?

James Patterson
What are you doing here?” [ndr prison]
Selling Girl Scout cookies,” I said. “Want some? The Samoas are terrific.”
(Max II to Max)

What are you doing here?” [ndr prison] Selling Girl Scout cookies,” I said. “Want some? The Samoas are terrific.” (Max II to Max)

James Patterson
Pick a tree. I'll carve our initials into it.

Pick a tree. I'll carve our initials into it." -Fang

James Patterson
My mom had a soft heart after all! Instead of being chained by both wrists, we were only chained by one ankle!
I mean, if I’d been looking for proof that she really did love me, this was it, right?

My mom had a soft heart after all! Instead of being chained by both wrists, we were only chained by one ankle! I mean, if I’d been looking for proof that she really did love me, this was it, right?

James Patterson
Max, if you survive your final test, can you steal me one of those magic outfits for me?

Max, if you survive your final test, can you steal me one of those magic outfits for me?" I'll try to get one for each of us. Hey! 'If'?

James Patterson
So you have you price,

So you have you price," I said with a mouthful of crumbs. "Your soul for a cookie." Fang made sure Dr. Martinez wasn't looking and then shot me the bird.

James Patterson
I don't damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much.

I don't damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much.

James Patterson
So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like unbarfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl.

So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like unbarfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl." -Max

James Patterson
He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.”
“I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.” “I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

James Patterson
This time I wouldn't forget him, because I couldn't ever forgive him - for breaking my heart twice.

This time I wouldn't forget him, because I couldn't ever forgive him - for breaking my heart twice.

James Patterson
This is my brain: O
This is my brain after making out with Fang: *
It's very sad.

This is my brain: O This is my brain after making out with Fang: * It's very sad.

James Patterson
I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long.

I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge

James Patterson
I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine!
-random kid talking to Ari

I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine! -random kid talking to Ari

James Patterson
Oh no! Don't drag us away from Antartica and take us to the playground of the rich and famous! Not that briar patch! -Max

Oh no! Don't drag us away from Antartica and take us to the playground of the rich and famous! Not that briar patch! -Max

James Patterson
At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

James Patterson
Besides my great fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.

Besides my great fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.

James Patterson
Don't ever leave me again.

Don't ever leave me again." -Max I won't. I won't not ever." -Fang

James Patterson
You're lying through your fangs,

You're lying through your fangs," Iggy accused. Fang tried to play innocent--but "innocent Fang" is an oxymoron, so it didn't work.

James Patterson
Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to,

Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to,

James Patterson
Feeding a crowd?' the woman behind the counter asked.
Yes, ma'am ,' Fang said sweetly.
Yeah, him and all his split personalities, I thought.

Feeding a crowd?' the woman behind the counter asked. Yes, ma'am ,' Fang said sweetly. Yeah, him and all his split personalities, I thought.

James Patterson
I muttered a swear word to myself. After I heard Angel cussing like a sailor when she stubbed her toe, my new resolution was to watch my language. All I needed was a six-year-old mutant with a potty mouth

I muttered a swear word to myself. After I heard Angel cussing like a sailor when she stubbed her toe, my new resolution was to watch my language. All I needed was a six-year-old mutant with a potty mouth

James Patterson
Fang! Come Back!

Fang! Come Back!" I started pulling his hair. Shaking his head and shoulders. Hard. "Wake up! Snap out of it! You stupid jerk! I am going to kill you if you die on me!

James Patterson
Gazzy: (Hugging himself and jumping up and down)

Gazzy: (Hugging himself and jumping up and down) "I'm brilliant! I'm a genius! I can blow up the world!" Max: (Raises her eyebrows) Gazzy: "Not that I would want to, of course," (coughs)

James Patterson
Who ya gonna call?

Who ya gonna call?" "Ghostbusters!" "That phrase is ruined forever.

James Patterson
Nudge: You aren't dead.
Iggy (irritably): No. You aren't dead either. How about just 'hello'?

Nudge: You aren't dead. Iggy (irritably): No. You aren't dead either. How about just 'hello'?

James Patterson
Gazzy: Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R.

Gazzy: Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R.

James Patterson
I offered to pee on him, but they said no

I offered to pee on him, but they said no

James Patterson
There's nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you've got a good fit going.

There's nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you've got a good fit going.

James Patterson
So the first thing we're gonna do,

So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof.

James Patterson
They call me, The Sharkalator

They call me, The Sharkalator

James Patterson
Fang:

Fang: "Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?

James Patterson
Iggy:

Iggy: "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!

James Patterson
WARNING
If you dare to read this story, you become part of the Experiment

WARNING If you dare to read this story, you become part of the Experiment

James Patterson
I didn't think he was a robot...but I did wonder if his emotions had been designed out of him. Of course, with a guy, how could I tell? Ha ha!

I didn't think he was a robot...but I did wonder if his emotions had been designed out of him. Of course, with a guy, how could I tell? Ha ha!

James Patterson
Fang, fang. I love you. I looooove you. I love you thiiiiiiiiiis much!

Fang, fang. I love you. I looooove you. I love you thiiiiiiiiiis much!

James Patterson
Excellent. They were flammable.

Excellent. They were flammable.

James Patterson
You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.

You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.

James Patterson
If you love something let it go.. if it comes back its yours

If you love something let it go.. if it comes back its yours

James Patterson
Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can.

Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can.

James Patterson
You really are a scary man,no really! If I had boots I would be quaking in them.

You really are a scary man,no really! If I had boots I would be quaking in them.

James Patterson
Ari felt like, Hellooo, I have wings! I turn into a wolf! Blending is out is out of the question!

Ari felt like, Hellooo, I have wings! I turn into a wolf! Blending is out is out of the question!

James Patterson
You are avake, yah?

You are avake, yah?" said a voice in a horribly recognizable accent. "Yah," I muttered, rubbing my head. "And you are still a jerk, yah?

James Patterson
Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

James Patterson
Right now, America looks like a fatheaded, shortsighted, gas-guzzling arrogant blowhard to the rest of the world.

Right now, America looks like a fatheaded, shortsighted, gas-guzzling arrogant blowhard to the rest of the world.

James Patterson
Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

James Patterson
Love hurts.

Love hurts." Oh, shut UP!" - pg 123

James Patterson
So Fnick, can I change channel?

So Fnick, can I change channel?" Iggy asked. "There's a game on." "Make yourself at home, Figgy." Fang said.

James Patterson
If your going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

If your going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

James Patterson
You stand out like a fart in a church.

You stand out like a fart in a church.

James Patterson
I hoped I wasn't actually dead. That would make finding our parents and saving the world really hard.

I hoped I wasn't actually dead. That would make finding our parents and saving the world really hard.

James Patterson
Do we have any chlorine? It seems to be kind of explosive when mixed with other stuff.

Do we have any chlorine? It seems to be kind of explosive when mixed with other stuff." "Like what, your socks? No, we don't have chlorine. No swimming pool.

James Patterson
Fang: When do I get out of here?
Max: They say a week.
Fang: So, like, tomorrow?
Max: That's what I'm thinking.

Fang: When do I get out of here? Max: They say a week. Fang: So, like, tomorrow? Max: That's what I'm thinking.

James Patterson
The hamster called. He wants his home back.

The hamster called. He wants his home back.

James Patterson
Sometimes when you're at your most certain, that's when everything you know is wrong.

Sometimes when you're at your most certain, that's when everything you know is wrong.

James Patterson
Where was the catch? 'Cause I knew one was coming.

Where was the catch? 'Cause I knew one was coming.

James Patterson
Is this a movie?' I heard someone ask.
Naw- this is too original for Hollywood. They do sequels.

Is this a movie?' I heard someone ask. Naw- this is too original for Hollywood. They do sequels.

James Patterson
Jeb: I wish I could explain what I'd give just to see you smile again.
Max (thinking): How about your head on a stick?

Jeb: I wish I could explain what I'd give just to see you smile again. Max (thinking): How about your head on a stick?

James Patterson
But what is life if you don't live it?

But what is life if you don't live it?

James Patterson
I'm a freaking princess when it comes to other people's feelings. Yo dogbreath, get your paws of the everglades. -Max

I'm a freaking princess when it comes to other people's feelings. Yo dogbreath, get your paws of the everglades. -Max

James Patterson
I'll just ask now: What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power-hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?

I'll just ask now: What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power-hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?

James Patterson
Fang was going to kill me. And after I was dead, he would kill me again.

Fang was going to kill me. And after I was dead, he would kill me again.

James Patterson
I choose you, Max. -Fang

I choose you, Max. -Fang

James Patterson
Yes. I owed my life, Angel's life, and my mother's life to a mutant's ability to create industrial-strength snot.

Yes. I owed my life, Angel's life, and my mother's life to a mutant's ability to create industrial-strength snot.

James Patterson
Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

James Patterson
Okay, that so did me in. Mr. Rock being all emotional? Expressing his feelings?

Okay, that so did me in. Mr. Rock being all emotional? Expressing his feelings?" p. 12

James Patterson
And by the way, you clearly don't know me better than Fang does. Do you see Fang arguing with me? No, you do not.

And by the way, you clearly don't know me better than Fang does. Do you see Fang arguing with me? No, you do not.

James Patterson
Ari smiled. The sun was shining, the weather was great, he was eating ice cream, and all his dreams were about to come true.

Ari smiled. The sun was shining, the weather was great, he was eating ice cream, and all his dreams were about to come true.

James Patterson
Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?

James Patterson
It's been said that love finds you when you're ready.

It's been said that love finds you when you're ready.

James Patterson