I'm horrible in the mornings. I'm grumpy.
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women’s breasts?
Something about teaching is curiously attractive, actually. I don't know what it is.
I'm a terrible vacillator; I can be sure of something one day and change my mind the next.
I'm quite jealous of my Scottish relations, in whose culture everyone, in a Jane Austen kind of way, got married very young, when you're too young to be cynical or jaded and just started having children.
I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.
I'm not a great believer in marriages as an institution, or even in very long term relationships. I'm not sure we're built that way.
I couldn't put my hand on my heart and say I think that being in a relationship is a natural state for a human being.
There were various turning points, but the main one at the beginning was that I was going off to do another degree in the history of art. I would have ended up as some art historian at Sotheby's or something.
Some newspapers in Britain have become closer to these kind of mafia families. They wield an incredible power. They choose our governments, they choose our prime ministers, and they live above the law.
At my school, which was all boys, I played almost exclusively lady parts. When I say lady parts, I mean parts that were ladies. To actually play lady parts would be weird, even by English standards.
I don't hate L.A., but I'm nervous about becoming one of those people who has a ferocious interest in how films did at the box office that weekend and, you know, would want to meet for egg-white omelets in the morning.
Love scenes are extremely difficult. You're always within a millimeter of sentimentality and 'yuck.'
If every play was three weeks, I'd do lots of plays. It's just the idea of six months, I think, that might drive me a bit nuts.
I'm a great believer in eccentrically-shaped modern families. Because I've seen them work so well. And as long as everyone loves each other, it can work very well.
I dreaded the dance scene in 'Love Actually' more than having my teeth extracted.
I have known a few good marriages, but very few. And others look to me like they're pretty miserable. I don't really think that's a recipe for happiness.
Frankly, I think I'm marvelous in rehearsal! Then you turn the camera on, and it gets stiff and tight. And then you trudge back to your trailer feeling sad. That's been my experience of film acting.
I wasn't aware I was trading on my good name; I've never had a good name.
All I know is for a number of years, if someone like me called police for a burglary, a mugging, or something happened to me, chances are that a photographer or reporter would turn up before a policeman.
'The Lair of the White Worm' is quite a strange film. It's difficult to be good when you're saying lines that have been translated from Spanish to English by someone who speaks French.
I've always dreaded the sea - in fact, I get terribly seasick.
I had a kiss with Raquel Welch's daughter - she was a very naughty kisser.
I've got four houses in my street. I live in two, and the others are empty. I'll buy more as they come up, because I think it would be great to have the entire street.
I certainly hated actors and, more importantly, they hated me.
Although I'm largely doing other things in life, it's very nice occasionally to put my toe back in the waters of show business.
Throughout my life, whenever I thought I'm dancing welI, I'm not.
I get more satisfaction out of comedy stuff. I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.
I don't do much acting anymore anyway, and not to work for 20th Century Fox is really the least of my worries.
There was a phase in my career in my late 20s and 30s when I was doing strange, arty-farty Euro films that were, you could tell, never had much chance of any release anywhere in the world.
Comedy is probably a way of dealing with anxiety. Sometimes it's a way of dealing with pain.
A lot of actors look at scripts and think, 'How will this stretch me as an actor?' But I always thought, 'Do I want to turn the page? Is this going to make people laugh?'
Like lots of people who say, 'I'm going to write a novel,' it's actually more comfortable to think I could write a novel than to discover that you can't.
Courage is soldiers fighting on the front line, or people living on the bread line.
I suppose after 'Four Weddings' I was very busy for a bit, and I imagined that was my career, but I never had that thing of, 'I'm burning to be an actor. If I don't act, I'm not alive.' I've never had that.
I'm a terrible actor. I'm still learning. When I first started, I wish I knew then to trust myself more, really. I was in a terrible panic in the early part of my career.
For a few years, I thought I was putting show business behind me. I was busy doing other things in life, particularly with politics. I was not out looking for films, really. I lost interest.
My whole history of being an actor is unusual and slightly disgraceful because it should be something you burn to do.
If it's a choice between doing a film and not doing a film, I'd rather not. But then, you remember that you're supposed to be earning a living and that it's your career.
The angry Scot is a cliche not without some foundation. That's the Lowland Scot - I'm a Highlander. We're particularly lovely and charming.
I think marriage is only necessary if you've got children. It's quite nice for them.
My mother was a teacher.
Theater has always been much more fun. You get a laugh, and it's really encouraging.
It's always more fun to be an anti-hero. They're more interesting.
Do I think human beings are meant to be in 40-year-long monogamous, faithful, relationships? No, No, No. Whoever said they were? Only the Bible or something. No one ever said that was a good idea.
I think there's something unromantic about marriage. You're closing yourself off.
Japanese women have always loved my films, even when no one else did. Ever since I made 'Maurice' in the 1980s, I've been getting hundreds of letter from Japanese girls. They definitely have a special place in my heart.
At home, I hardly ever leave London. I don't like the countryside in England.
As it is, I have a limited range as an actor - light comedy. I have never been a fan of romantic comedies, and yet that is what I have ended up mostly doing.
I'm such a chronic relativist, I can't hold down a strong opinion about many things long enough.
It's very rare in life to be sure about something - particularly when it's an issue.
I'm very unrelaxed doing a newspaper interview.
I'm quite proud of some of the films I've done, but less for the acting than for the fact that they're unpretentious and entertaining. I'm proud of having made unpretentious choices.
I quite like Pilates now. I have a Pilates girl in every city.
I have no doubt that I'd be a marvelous father. Maybe not when they're tiny, but when they're a little bit older, I think I'd be rather good.
I look at life and I see some very happy relationships, but I also see the vast majority as not being that happy.
I don't particularly like babies. I don't mind them for about four minutes. That's my max. After that I can't quite see what everyone's fussing about.
I had Courtney Love's left bosom out of her dress on my plate in front of me. It was extraordinary. I didn't know where to look.
Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred.
Basically, my life is so boring, it's embarrassing.
And film acting is incredibly tedious, just by its nature. It's incredibly, mind numbingly slow.
But I just know from experience that accent wise, even if you're an accent genius, crossing the Atlantic is the hardest thing in the world either way.
I cling to the fantasy that I could have done something more creative. Like actually writing a script, or writing a book. But the awful truth is that I... probably can't!
I don't think there's much point in putting me a deep, dark, heavy, emotional film because there are people who do it so much better than I do.
I find it hard to understand why Scorsese has never called. You know, given the natural menace I bring to the screen.
I think maybe in a way it gets worse because you come in with a real reputation and they've paid you lots of money and all that.
I think that's the whole point of Bridget Jones. It's all about that it's okay to fail.
Neither Elizabeth or I are keen to do a real-life couple on the screen. It's not very electric.
The only reason my work seems to be eclectic up to a certain period is because I was a failure as an actor.
The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.
Well, you know I have an office, my film offices. So I know that syndrome. I fancy offices, so there must be something wrong with me. Even the window cleaner intrigues me. It's a very sexy environment.
When I think about actors I know, I'd much rather hear about who they're shagging than what film they're doing next.
With 2 movies opening this summer, I have no relaxing time at all. Whatever I have is spent in a drunken stupor.
I was fat-shamed the other day on a British newspaper. The headline was 'Four Bellies and a Turkey Neck.' They weren't wrong. I looked shocking.
I don't want to see the end of popular print journalism.
I slightly lost my enthusiasm for most acting, but I've done some little bits and pieces - curiosities.
My laziness is really profound. I'm really interested in where it comes from - it almost feels chemical. And we've all got ADD now, short attention span and all that.
But when you're a celebrity, you discover that you're no longer the pursuer, but the one being pursued. That's one of the disappointments I have had since becoming a single man.
And I particularly like the whole thing of being boss. Boss and employee... It's the slave quality that I find very alluring.
I don't have any particular burning desire to go back to being cuddly. Not really.
Strangely enough I'm better on a stage. I love that I feel like I blossom in front of a whole bunch of people.
The moral of filmmaking in Britain is that you will be screwed by the weather.
Plus, teaching brings home to you very fast that you actually know nothing. I didn't realize that before.
You know everyone loves to be the villain.
I get very annoyed when people think I'm nice or diffident or a polite English gentleman. I'm a nasty piece of work, and people should know that.
I think I'm rather young and sprightly, but then you see pictures of yourself and think, 'Who is that old man?' and I realise I'm not as young as I thought I was.
I'm not a hopeless romantic. I'm quite the reverse. I'm a nasty piece of work, an ego maniac.
For any new technology there is always controversy and there always some fear associated with it. I think that's just the price of being first sometimes.
A free press is the cornerstone of democracy; there is no question about that.
I frequently dream of having tea with the Queen.
Brexit was a fantastic example of a nation shooting itself full in the face.
I just don't believe in love at first sight anymore, even though I've based my whole career on the concept. In my experience, power, money and influence always attract the opposite sex. It's something that I've always exploited - with good results.
My contemporary art collection began with just needing to put things on the wall. I was looking around my Victorian house thinking, 'What would be the coolest is contemporary art - it will make me look young and interesting.' I'm more than 80 percent skeptical of the whole thing.
The truth is, I'd never seen a Cary Grant film. Since then I have watched his stuff and it's astounding, but I don't see any similarity between us. Except for the fact that I'm told he used to wear ladies' underwear, which is something I also do.
It's very true that you can be both selfless and selfish at the same time. What we tend towards, particularly in filmmaking, is this binary sort of, 'This is a good guy, this is a bad guy.' And I quite like the fact that life is a bit more complex than that.
'Notting Hill?' Does that poke fun at being British? Maybe it does. In 'Mickey Blue Eyes,' that's kind of the point: the clash of worlds, the unlikely combo of a respectable Englishman and a mob guy. If you take out the Britishness, you don't really have much.
If you have a smothering parent, the effect it can apparently have on a child is to give them, in equal doses, a sense of too much self-esteem, because they are mummy's little princess or prince, and low self-esteem. It affects future relationships.
I always admire the French and the Italians who are very devoted to their marriages. They take them extremely seriously, but it is understood that there might be other visitors at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. You just never boast about. They never say anything, but that's what keeps marriages together.
I've certainly had a bad attitude to my job on many occasions. Not since 'Four Weddings and a Funeral'. I've been rather a good boy and really given it everything when I've accepted a part since then, because I've been given much better parts in films.
I think the part of my acting career where I've been more successful, I've been incredibly cushioned. People are much too nice to you. You go into politics, and people are absolutely brutal. You've got proper enemies, and they're vicious. It's very invigorating.
Most actors really love it, that's what they want to do. They burn to do it. And so they'll read a script and think, that's an interesting part. And because they love acting, that blinds them to the fact that the rest of it is pretentious nonsense, which it very often is.
After I found that I had become an actor, slightly to my surprise, I did have some insecurity, and I did take some rather strange acting classes at a place called The Actor's Studio in London. I don't think they did me any good at all.