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Dorothy Parker Quotes

121 Quotes By Dorothy Parker For Cultivating Take No Prisoners Attitude

Famous As: American Poet, Critic & Satirist Who Was Known for Her Wit, Wisecracks, and Eye for 20th-Century Urban Foibles

Born On: August 22, 1893

Died On: June 7, 1967

Born In: Long Branch, New Jersey, United States

Died At Age: 73

Dorothy Parker was a famed American critic, short story writer, poet and satirist. She is till date revered for her wisecracks and wit. Parker had a troubled childhood, but she broke the shackles of her past and gained recognition not just for her literary publications in ‘The New Yorker’ but also as the charter member of the ‘Algonquin Round Table’. When the circle parted ways, she moved to Hollywood to pursue a career in screenwriting. She also bagged in two ‘Academy Award’ nominations for her prolific writing. Her involvement in left-wing politics however, led her to Hollywood blacklist. Nevertheless, her literary works, thoughts, opinions and writings have endured up to this date. As luck would have it many of her thoughts, sayings, words and quotes fit the bill in today’s world. Read through the popular quotes and thoughts by Dorothy Parker to have a glimpse at her funny side.

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Writers

Poets

Women and elephants never forget.
Never Women
Dorothy Parker

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
Dorothy Parker

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
You
Dorothy Parker

The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.

The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
Me I
Dorothy Parker

Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.

Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
Dorothy Parker

Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.

Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
You Money
Dorothy Parker

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
You Love I
Dorothy Parker

[On hearing that Clare Boothe Luce was invariably kind to her inferiors:] And where does she find them?

[On hearing that Clare Boothe Luce was invariably kind to her inferiors:] And where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker

What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Dorothy Parker

Well, there are always those who cannot distinguish between glitter and glamour . . . the glamour of Isadora Duncan came from her great, torn, bewildered, foolhardy soul.

Well, there are always those who cannot distinguish between glitter and glamour . . . the glamour of Isadora Duncan came from her great, torn, bewildered, foolhardy soul.
Soul
Dorothy Parker

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
Dorothy Parker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Home Children
Dorothy Parker

Writing well is the best revenge.
Dorothy Parker

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Women
Dorothy Parker

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Life Change
Dorothy Parker

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Me I
Dorothy Parker

[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.

[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.
Dorothy Parker

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
Women
Dorothy Parker

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
You Me Love Like I
Dorothy Parker

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker

The affair between Margot Asquinth and Margot Asquinth will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.

The affair between Margot Asquinth and Margot Asquinth will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
Love Will
Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Money
Dorothy Parker

Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.

Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker

They tire of quiet, that have known the storm

They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
Dorothy Parker

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Dorothy Parker

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
You Will History I
Dorothy Parker