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A collection of famous sayings and quotes by David Spade on movies, style, stories, crazy, country, tv-shows, sitcom, play, rap, country, skateboard and die.

32 Interesting Quotes By David Spade For The Happy-Go-Lucky

Quick Facts

Famous As
Stand-up Comedian, Actor, Writer, Television Personality

Born On

Born In
Birmingham

David Spade is a celebrated American television personality, stand-up comedian, actor, and writer, who gained recognition with ‘Saturday Night Live,’ as a cast member. Some of his notable works include ‘Grown Ups,’ ‘Tommy Boy,’ ‘Rules of Engagement,’ ‘Joe Dirt,’ ‘Just Shoot Me!,’ and ‘8 Simple Rules.’ His gigs, acting roles and stand-up comedy acts primarily rely on self-deprecation and sarcasm. He has been nominated for the ‘Golden Globe Awards,’ and has been a host at various award shows. He has also lent his voice to a number of animated characters. We have gathered the funniest and craziest one liner, words, sayings and quotes by David Spade which have been collected from his movies, tv-shows, thoughts, gigs, stand-up acts, interviews, shows and life. Zoom through the most sought-after quotes and thoughts by David Spade that will leave you in splits.

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

- David Spade

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

- David Spade

Single guys get a bad rap.

- David Spade

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

- David Spade

No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

- David Spade

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

- David Spade

Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

- David Spade

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

- David Spade

It's hard to have a career.

- David Spade

I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.

- David Spade

I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.

- David Spade

You know, you want to pull in a wide audience.

- David Spade

There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.

- David Spade

When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.

- David Spade

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

- David Spade

My career is just kind of crazy.

- David Spade

It's so crazy in Hollywood.

- David Spade

It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.

- David Spade

It's funny because it's funny.

- David Spade

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

- David Spade

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

- David Spade

Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, 'That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible.'

- David Spade

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.

- David Spade

I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.

- David Spade

I never dated much in high school or college.

- David Spade

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

- David Spade

I have no detectable hair style.

- David Spade

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

- David Spade

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

- David Spade

Birthday Week should be a movie starring Kristen Wiig, not an actual thing you are desperately trying to organize for your life.

- David Spade

FYI, this book is not that serious. This is meant to be read when super bored, then forgotten fifteen minutes later. It could be read cover-to-cover during one medium-to-severe case of diarrhea.

- Almost Interesting, David Spade

To be famous and broke is hard.

- David Spade