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28 Top Robert Benchley Quotes For Your Dose Of Laughter

Famous As: Humorist
Born On: October 15, 1889
Died On: September 21, 1945
Died At Age: 55

Robert Benchley was a famous American actor, humorist and writer. He was great at extracurricular activities during his school and college served as the art editor and in Harvard University and joined the board of directors for ‘Harvard Lampoon’. His writing skills landed him up in the ‘New York Tribune’ where he became the chief writer and wrote articles on various topics. Thereafter, he served as chief editor of the magazine ‘Vanity Fair’. During his initial days Robert was never stable at any job and had to do a lot of freelance work for survival. While being a freelancer he even worked as a theater actor where his role in a comic drama ‘The Treasurer’s Report’ was appreciated by the masses. He adapted the play into a short film which turned out to be a huge success. This further paved his way into films and he did a small role in ‘The Sport Parade’ and also collaborated to write the screenplay. This encouraged him to make his short film ‘How to Sleep’, which gave him his first bite at stardom and turned his career towards mainstream Hollywood. This short movie received ‘Academy Award’ for the ‘Best Short Subject’. He has worked through several media and shared his thoughts and ideas over different things. His thoughts, dialogues and sayings have, over the years, become popular as his quotes. His thoughts and quotations tackle the most serious and sensitive topics in a lighter tone. Here are few of Robert Benchley’s notable quotes.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Robert Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Robert Benchley
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Robert Benchley
There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Robert Benchley
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley
After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.

Robert Benchley
The only cure for a real hangover is death.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Robert Benchley
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

Robert Benchley
The free-lance writer is one who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

The free-lance writer is one who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Robert Benchley
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

Robert Benchley
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

Robert Benchley
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Robert Benchley
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

Robert Benchley
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

Robert Benchley
Streets flooded. Please advise.

Streets flooded. Please advise.

Robert Benchley
People who begin sentences with

People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but—" are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong.

Robert Benchley
New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater seats and say

New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater seats and say "These New Yorkers don't dress any better than we do.

Robert Benchley
One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.

One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.

Robert Benchley
If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

Robert Benchley
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Robert Benchley
As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

Robert Benchley
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them." Robert Benchley (1889-1945)

Robert Benchley
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

Robert Benchley
One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.

One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.

Robert Benchley