I think anybody who really knows me knows I'm not a media hound and knows that I'm really sort of trying to do the best I can with the situation that I found myself in.
This was a mutual relationship, mutual on all levels, right from the way it started and all the way through. I don't accept that he had to completely desecrate my character.
It was a mutual relationship.
I've been told by the prosecutors and by my own attorneys I should go to law school. I guess I have a knack for it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry some days. But I really have worked hard to put a lot of the anger and disappointment in the past.
I was worried about my mom more than I was worried about the president. And then I was worried about the president, and then I was worried about myself.
I mean, I felt terrible. And in the beginning, I mean, I was completely devastated. I mean, can you imagine the kind of guilt that you would feel, and the responsibility?
I chose to not wear a wire and tape people. I chose to not get immunity until - were accepted, whatever - until the independent counsel's office was comfortable with what I said was the truth.
But, clearly to me, what I've come to see is that that happened because I didn't have enough feelings of self-worth. So that I didn't feel that... I was worthy of being number one to a man.
At one point, I actually, ironically, thought I might go into criminology and work with the FBI.
And understandably so, that when you're in legal jeopardy, you really cannot put yourself in a position to open yourself up to the media.
He could have made it right with the book. But he hasn't. He is a revisionist of history. He has lied.
So it was sort of an odd time because I had been hired, but my paperwork hadn't gone through. So I worked as an intern during the government shutdown, as an intern, but I already had a job.
Well, for me, really, I think it was I wanted to try and clear up some of the misperceptions that were out there and fill in some of the historical gaps.
I'm an incredibly lucky girl. For someone who has made some very foolish mistakes and had some tough lessons to learn very quickly, I am still incredibly lucky.
I know I will never have an affair with a married man again.
I'm kind of known for something that's not so great to be known for.
I certainly know that this relationship could not have continued the way it did, when I was at the Pentagon and the president was obviously at the White House, without Betty.
I was enamored with him. And I was excited. And I was enjoying it.
He ended it. He just said he didn't - he - well, what he said was that he didn't feel it was right, and you know, I mean that's - because he ended it, he'd probably have to be the one to answer that.
Getting and keeping my immunity became very important to me. For I needed to take care of myself and my family. No one else was worried about me.
I've always really been a romantic at heart, and I have always wanted kids, and I think the idea of sharing your life with the right person is amazing, actually.
I have spent the past several years working so hard to just move on, and to try and build a life for myself.
I try to make very careful decisions about what I choose to do, and it's - I know that unfortunately one of the misperceptions about me, I think, is that I'm sort of a moth to the limelight.
I voted Republican this year; the Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth.
I don't have the feelings of self-worth that a woman should have... and that's been the center of a lot of my mistakes and a lot of my pain.
When I think of the person that I thought was Bill Clinton, I think he had genuine remorse. When I think of the person that I now see is 100 percent politician, I think he's sorry he got caught.
And I felt sorry, and I have felt bad about what happened.
I mean, there was a portion, of course, that I think, when I look back now, that there was a portion of what attracted me must have been the awe of him being a powerful man in this environment, not to take away from who he is as a real person.
It was that chemistry. And was the fact that he was president part of that chemistry? I don't know. Maybe. Probably. But it was - I was there because there was chemistry. I wasn't there because, oh, this is the president.
